In order to improve my martial arts and postpone middle age/old age I’ve been trying new work outs. Every week I run, lift weights and do taekwondo two or three nights a week. But I need more just to keep up with all the teenagers in the adult class because they have stupid teenaged boy muscles.
A few weeks ago I tried Zumba because the ads on tv look like so much sweaty fun. Old ladies tried to help me with my tense/rhythm-free dancing skills. Thirteen years of martial arts have trained me to keep my hands up, fists next to my face, no matter what. So I looked really paranoid and stiff as a celery stalk. But I would not get sucker punched in zumba class.
Today I tried yoga at the YMCA. It was a lovely class but not at all what I expected. The one thing I can do better than most of my taekwondo teenagers is stretch. So most of the yoga poses and moves were just fine.
Unfortunately I’m ridiculously hyper-competitive. Even though it was my first day, when I spotted a 70 year old woman out stretching me…it was on. I gritted my teeth and beat her. Stupid right? Because yoga isn’t a competitive sport, it’s supposed to be about peace, enlightenment and finding balance in your body….stuff like that.
During class the lights were dim and there was pretty music so I tried relax and ground myself. I worked to feel my own breath, lengthen my limbs and allow my muscles to relax. But I kept thinking, “my downward dog looks pretty awesome and so do my calf muscles,” or “my high cobra is soooo much higher than hers, but I need to work on my tree stance, it sucks, everyone has a better tree.”
Obviously, this was not an advanced yoga class and you have to trust me, I’m laughing at myself, because I know I missed the entire point because I’m an immature doof. Maybe yoga is exactly what I need in my life.
The class ended and I wasn’t sweaty or sore, I was pretty happy though. Then, the instructor, who was wonderful, came to each of our mats. We were stretched out on our backs, breathing and feeling centered. And she rubbed my neck and ears with some great menthol smelly stuff. She rubbed my ears! Nobody in Taekwondo every rubs my ears! I really love yoga now!
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