There are a few things women must do in the bathroom but life would be so much better if we did them out in the bright and devastatingly honest sunlight.
First, plucking our eyebrows. Many of us spend hours of our fleeting lives inches from a mirror trying to pluck individual hairs from our face. Not only does it hurt a little, it’s hard. I’ve discovered plucking my eyebrows in my car is much easier and I do a better job. Because the sun is really bright. I can flip my mirror down while I’m parked in the sunshine and do an excellent job on my eye brows. Now you know why I have tweezers in my cup holder.
Shaving our legs. At least once a week, as I’m getting out of the car I look down and realize I’ve mist major acreage on my legs. Because the hair on my legs is blond they don’t really show up until I’m in the sun shine and they glimmer like sparkly threads on my knee. If I could sit outside and shave my legs in the brilliant Arkansas sunlight this probably wouldn’t happen. Instead I’m forced to shave in a dimly lit shower, I have to balance on one leg, in the steam on a slippery surface and hope I don’t slice an artery. This is dangerous stuff.
Finally, putting on eyeliner would be so much easier outside. It’s hard to draw a straight, soft, gently contoured line on my squishy eye lid without pokeing myself. Even after all these years.
The answer to all these problems, an enormous mirror on the side of my house, with a little stool in front. And maybe, if I’m really lucky, my husband will look at it once in a while, before he leaves the house, and realize the stained and sagging blue jeans and ten year old washed out AC/DC tee-shirt really isnt’ working for him anymore.