Alex and I are in an interesting place right now. He’s not working, at all. And I am For a multitude of reasons we decided for now and maybe forever he didn’t need to work and instead would stay home.
Everything has been lovely. He’s not nearly as stressed or exhausted, the house is in much better shape because he’s always been a better cleaner than me. And on most evenings when I get home there’s a wonderful dinner waiting. Having a chef at home has it’s rewards.
But I’ve had to fuss at myself several times because I do something he’s done in the past. For years, I stayed home with the children. He’d come home from work after eight or ten hours and I was ready to talk. I wanted him to pay attention to the things I’d accomplished while he was gone.
All the laundry was done, the kitchen was mopped, I painted the bathroom. If Alex was dismissive or uninterested in my accomplishment I remember feeling really hurt and pouty. I felt that he thought my work was unimportant to the family and menial.
So, I’m trying not to be that kind of working jerk. I’m not going to let mys3elf walk in the house, say hello than sink into the couch to watch the news. I’m going to focus on him for a few minutes because he’s focused on us all day. The truth is, I’m really really happy the house is so much cleaner and he’s finishing all kinds of projects. I’m so happy I’m not the only one who has to deliver the missing notebook or trumpet to the school in the middle of the work day when a child forgets something.
So, husbands and wives out there. If you have someone at home taking care of business walk around and admire all the stuff they are accomplishing. Say thank you, repeatedly. You need clean clothes, you want dinner. You hate it when the kitchen floor is sticky. And what does it cost you? Conversely, if you have a spouse who works while you stay at home say Thank you so much!” Cause you get to sleep in a little if you want, cause you can sit down and watch 15 minutes of Grease in the middle of the day, because they are trying to take care of your family. Finally, neither on of you needs to act like the martyr and sigh all the time, cause you’ve got it so rough. There are perks to both sides of this coin.
Just remember to take care of each other.