Your Kid Is a Bad Driver…I Promise

carIt’s graduation time and parents all over the country are buying their high school students or recently graduated students a car. Awesome…that’s so wonderful. But for the love of God don’t buy them a nice car. Not now, not yet. I’ve written about this before and time after time I’ve been proven RIGHT.

The first care you buy for your kids should be a practice car cause they are going to trash it. They are going to back into stuff, scrape things, rear end (very lightly) other cars.  Cause they are kids. I know you are thinking your child is different buy you are dead wrong.  Your beloved kiddo is gonna drive too fast, take chances and mess up that pretty used or new car you just bought for them.

Sandor is ten years old, and can’t see the dirty clothes on the floor, how’s he gonna see a fire hydrant or stop sign? He won’t, until he drives into it.

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Last week Fountain Lake had a music/band performance and FOUR cars passed me on park Avenue. I was driving exactly the speed limit. Fifty mile an hour.  Three out of four of the cars who passed me were driving by teenagers from Fountain Lake. I knew them all. They were running late (cause that’s what teenagers do) so they passed, when it wasn’t really safe.

Lexie has a crappy car. It’s the 1996 Mary Ford Explorer we bought for Mary and she when she was 18. It was a wreck in six months and now it’s Lexies, all banged up and ugly.

Yesterday she asked me “If I get a full ride to college will you get me a new car(new to her, not new new)?”

This request works for me because it fits our “Yes for a Yes” prime directive hampoland rule. Lexie get’s what she wants…after I get what I want.

Here’s the second reality about teens and cars.  This rule applies to all kids, including mine.  Teens are going to speed no matter what kind of vehicle they drive. I’ve seen a teenage boy driving an ancient station wagon go 20 miles over the speed limit everyday on the way to school. He was a boy scout and brilliant but he was just a boy. Lex drives too fast, she doesn’t believe me and thinks I’m mistaken but she does.

And if you buy your kid a hot fast car they are going to go even faster, just because they can. If you buy your child a corvette, a ninja, a mustang, any hot go fast vehicle DO NOT BE SURPRISED WHEN THEY GET A TICKET. You bought them a car built for speed, designed to go fast. What the hell do you expect them to do?

If you bought you kid a submarine they would go underwater. If you buy your child a fast car they are gonna go fast.

I have a friend with a Camero, he jacked it up and it now has 740 Horsepower. he’s 45 years old and guess what he’s gonna do? GO FAST!

So, do yourself a favor, recognize that teens will do what they always do. Bang up cars and drive fast. Buy them something with airbags, keep them on a short leash and you’ll probably make it through graduation.

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Parents! I Learned How Sexting Starts!

Yup, the code has been broken.  One of Lexie’s friends recently explained to me exactly how teenaged sexting with pictures starts.

 As parents when we hear that a teenaged girl is in a pickel because she sent a picture of her boobs to a boy we sigh and groan and say ‘what the hell was she thinking, how could this happen?” Well, now I know.

It goes something like this and according to my 15 year old informant the script doesn’t vary much.

Girl and boy are flirting via text.

Guy: “I’m just lying here watching tv. I wish you were here.”

Girl: “Me too”.

Guy: “I’m  sore from lifting weights. But look at this”. Then he sends a picture of himself with his shirt off looking all ripped.

Girl: “Nice lol”

Guy: “You should send me a picture”.

Girls sends a picture of her pretty face.

Guy: “That’s not fair. Send me a good picture.”

And then…if the girl is stupid(that’s how teenager put it)…she sends him a picture of her boobs. If she’s smart she laughs at hims and says something like “No way.”

And then the teenager and Lexie and I discussed the next thing that happens. Both the boy and girl take their phones to school. The girl shows other girls the picture of the guys muscular chest, everybody comments and it’s not that big of a deal. 

And the guy does the same thing. He shows all his friends, team mates and acquaintances, even his little brother and uncle,  the picture of the girl without her shirt. And it’s a very big deal because he promised he wouldn’t show anyone.

As parents I think we have a few options.  We can pull out children out of school and keep them at home for the next ten years.

We can take away their phones or at least give them phones without cameras. Or, we can warn our daughters that this is how the situation almost always unfolds.  The boy will show everybody the pictures on his phone because he’s proud of them and thinks their hot. It’s doesn’t make him a bad guy, it just makes him a normal guy.

After I learned all this from the 15 year old I called one of my older, 20 something kids (I’m not going to name).  I started explaining how all the teenaged sexting starts and was interrupted.  “Mom, I know how it starts.”

Ouch!  And I made a mental note. “Never ever pick up older childs’ phone and casually glance at the photos without permission.”

*Names have not been included to protect the innocent and guilty.