On Google, Americans Are Searching For…


FROM LINDSEY LOHAN TO SARAH PALIN…WHAT’S AMERICA SEARCHING FOR ON GOOGLE?    Yesterday I met with a ‘blog expert’ and he told me I needed to find out what everyone in America was searching for and then write about those things,  so I’d get more traffic on www.hampoland.com.

That sounded like a good idea, so this morning I did my homework. Unfortunately, the stuff America is searching for isn’t in my area of expertise. But, here’s what I know about a few of the hot topics.

1. Lindsey Lohan tweeted that she failed her drug test. And someone was surprised? Maybe she can do what Brittney Spears has done, and make a comeback that saves her from the terminal skank label. Maybe?

2. Sarah Palin:  If I have to spend the next five years  listening to her talk about mamma grizzlies, pit bulls with lipstick and a herd of pink elephants marching on Washington I’m moving to Cuba. I’ll learn to smoke cigars, sit on the beach and wait for her to go back to Alaska.

3. A tornado hit Brooklyn yesterday. WTF (I pretend that means ‘why the face?”) My son ,Jack, threw a guitar over his shoulder and moved to New York City…yesterday. He left Arkansas, part of tornado alley, and a tornado hits Brooklyn……  Well, good thing he knows how to hide in the bathtub.

4. Vincent Jackson and Reggie Garrett. I got nothing, but I love the Razorbacks.

5.  The last episode of As The Word Turns aired this week…my mom, Ann Stell, was in the first  tv soap opera, she played an evil beauty with  crazy eyebrows. The show was called “Far Away Hill”. And my brother Granger watched General Hospital while he was in prison. That’s what I know about soaps.

6. There’s Bethany Storro , the girl who faked having acid thrown in her face, apparently she’s popular right now.  You know, I’ve faked a lot of things in my life from passion and  family emergencies (generally when a cop pulls me over) head aches and tummy aches, but it has never ever occurred to me to fake an acid attack.

7. There’s Mike Huckabee (had him as a Gov. and I think he looked better when he was plump) and The Rally To Restore Sanity courtesy of Jon Stewart and Stephan Colbert  …since Huckabee and Palin made the list of most searched for topics, I don’t think the Rally will help. But it’s worth a try.

So, I guess I will ignore my blog wizard and continue writing about stuff I know, or at least stuff I think I know. In the blogging world that’s enough.