I recently read a blog entitled “Why Our Sons Wear Pink”. A mom explained why she encourages her sons to be sensitive and gentle. She thinks people like boys who are rough and jock like. But I think things are going in the opposite direction.
A lot of folks get mad because little boys act like little boys. They are too rough, too tough and too violent. And it’s not politically correct.
But boys are boys and girls are girls. (That’s coming from a woman who’s a terrible example of a girl. I box, love MMA, can’t wear heels and never really liked dolls) We don’t get mad at little girls for being too “girly” . We don’t get mad at girls for wearing pink and taking care of their baby dolls. We don’t fuss at them for being too nurturing.
But boys take a beating for being too aggressive and too violent, for pretending to shoot things and beat up dudes. I love it when my youngest son plays in his room, when he draws and listens to music. But I try to be patient when he’s a screaming, hollering crazy guy running around in the yard with his bb gun and jumping off the playhouse onto the trampoline with a sword. When he and his friends literally pick each other up and smash each other on the ground…most of the time it’s ok. That’s what boys do.
Sandor and his friends come home laughing about the terrible things they do to each other. That doesn’t happen much in girl world.
I’m the first parent to jump into a hot messy situation about a kid that’s a bully or too aggressive. When that happens I start calling parents and principals. I call kids out that I don’t even know cause I hate punks.
Boys and men were made to be hunters and protectors. Girls were designed to take care of their young. Sometimes the boys have to take care of the babies and the girls have to go hunt down dinner, so a person who can do both is invaluable. But for the most part that’s how humans were designed. Seahorses and birds are different but we are humans.
I agree we have to encourage our boys to be sensitive and compassionate. We must teach them to respect everybody, not just the alpha males. Parents need to encourage boys to appreciate the arts, music and literature. But as a society we need to stop blasting our boys for being boys.
When my oldest child, Jack, was born I was a very tan hippie chick who hated guns. I wouldn’t let Jack play with guns…ever. So ,the boy turned everything, from Legos to bannanas, into a gun. My daughter, Mary, who is 16 months younger had absolutely no use or interest in guns.
The truth is boys work out problems differently than girls and sometimes that involves pushing and shoving. Being aggressive isn’t mandatory for boys but for most, it’s part of their DNA
Parents, this is on you, insist and encourage your boys to be respectful and kind but don’t beat them up if they want to sword fight, wrestle, and hunt down bad guys. Let those boys be boys.
Side note: If you’re child is mean or a bully, make him stop and don’t make excuses. Don’t use the line “he’s just being a boy” if he’s actually an obnoxious punk.