Alana and Lexie asked me to write about pole dancing…yes I was concerned, becaue they are only 14. But I was also flattered because they had a blog request….pole dancing….artistic pole dancing.

So, I watched a bunch of pole dancing videos and here are my thoughts

1. I like the pole dancers with the hats. How do they keep them from falling off? Hats make everything better, from rodeo riders to state troopers. Hats make you more.

#2 Pole dancing that’s artistic and not the striping variety, kind of gets boring and repetitive. lLeg up, leg downs, legs out, arch back, wave hand, dangle upside down so hair looks magnificent. They do the same thing all the time, beautiful gymnastics and dancing while keeping one hand on a pole.  Here’s the thing, when stripping pole dancers are doing their thing they take off their clothes so there’s an end result.

#3 Tehre are a bunch of professional pole dancers world wide who want it to be named an Olympic sport. Wait, there’s already a sport where women handgupside down and do the splits and it’s called gymnastics. And trust me, if you put one of those 14 year old, 90 pound olympic gymnists on a pole, they would scamper up and down that thing like a spider monkey on crack.  I think the “artistic pole dancers” who want to get into the Olympics are just looking for a way to get the grown women competing. There are already plenty of poles in the Olympics they are just horizontal and they are called the paralle bars and the ballance beam. And the Poles from Poland of course.)

If you combine pole dancing and gymnastic it’s called polebatics.

There are local ads posted on some of the pole dancing videos on youtube, so my local Nissan dealer thinks I’m looking at Pole Dancers…interesting. Hey, this  ARTISTIC pole dancing…not stripping no tipping.

Miley Cyrus Now Managed By BP Oil

I’m watching the Miley Cyrus “Who Owns My Heart” video.

Yikes, I’m thinking BP Oil is in charge of this girl’s career.. And that’s why it’s become so nasty, slippery and plagued by disastrous decisions.

Mily is seventeen but her video opens with her lying in bed wearing a bustier and blindfold. Then she dances and writhes and kind of sings.

I’m not bothered so much by that all that, but it’s killing me that Disney is letting her continue to be Hannah Montana and Wal-Mart is pushing her clothes line to little bitty girls. Do they get the blind fold with the be-dazzled Hanna Montana tank top?

Wait, it gets better, half way through the video an ad pops up that says, “Do You Want To Be A Disney Star’?

And then there’s the “Cant Be Tamed’ video. It’s pathetic and horrible in an entirely different way. What’s so sad is Miley, with all her worldly experience, doesn’t actually get it. In the video she’s introduced as the “rarest creature on earth”…..But there are millions of Mileys, desperate to move from tween/teen to adulthood. They try to prove  they are adults by acting sleazy. American high schools are over run with these girls. In an attempt to prove to the American public that she’s different, special, unique and grownup Miley Cyrus has simply transformed herself into “predictable”.

Maybe Lindsey and Brittney will let Miley join their “Disney Gone Skank” support group.