Tag: parents

Stupid Adults

Dear Adults,        Sometimes you are so stupid I want to hit you in the face with a coffee mug. How can you be so self absorbed and blind?

Lexie has a fifteen year old friend who is very dear to our entire family. She has been part of our world and Lexie’s best friend since 3rd grade. Sadly, Julie is surrounded by adults with enormous problems. Problems with the law, problems with relationships and marriage, and as a result psychological problems. And these adults talk talk talk all the damn time about their problems and unfortunate circumstances.

Julie, is very mature for her age (she’s had to grow up fast) . She listens and counsels and absorbs all their heavy, dank garbage. She worries and frets because she’s totally submerged in all these issues all the time.

 It’s summertime so she doesn’t even get a break during the day. She’s at home with the stupid adults and their problems.

The adults in her life have problems of their own making, they screwed up. And now Julie is swimming in the problem pool with them, 24/7. As a result she’s become depressed…very very depressed.

THE PROBLEMS ARE NOT JULIES! BUT THEY HAVE EATTEN HER LIFE UP BECAUSE HER ADULTS DON’T KNOW WHEN OR HOW TO SHUT UP!

Just because a kid is mature does not mean adults should tell them all the details of their stupid freakin’ issues and woes. Do not tell them all about your marriage problems. Do not tell them all about your relationship problems. Do not tell them all about your court case and legal issues and if you feel suicidal…don’t lean on a teenager! That’s not fair or right.

Julie should be thinking about cute boys, shoes, her tan line, school, her future, her phone, movies and friends. But she’s not. She’s worrying about the adults in her life because they talk AT her 24 hours a day, they blow up her phone, they text and they talk and talk and talk. She’s sitting in a vat of “other people’s problems” and she’s too kind and caring to tell everybody to shut the hell up.

I have never been more worried about a child in my life.

Teens #1 Complaint About Their Parents

I was poking around on Twitter and found the category/hash tag for “I hate it when my parents…”. In Twitterland it looks like this#ihatewhenmyparents.

As far as I can see the number one complaint from teenagers and kids seems to be when we ask who they are texting. First, I kind of want to tell all these whinny kids to shut up and stop bitching because I’m paying for your phone, but that won’t really help.

Instead, I will say this. Kids, you need to understand that cell phones are very new, and texting is even newer. The first text was sent in 1994 and it was really slow catching on. Now all teens text all the time.  You keep your cell phone clutched in your fist like the  Bald Eagle keeps his deadly talons  wrapped around the American flag.  God forbid anyone try to remove that cell phone from you fist.

As an adult, I can tell you,  it seems as though you are having a bunch of conversations with people we can’t see or hear, right in front of us. Wait, that’s exactly what you are doing. And it’s really really rude. I know you don’t see it that way because you grew up with texting. But we don’t know who you are talking to or what you are talking about. And that’s creepy.

For all I know my beautiful fifteen year old daughter  might be making a deal with a pimp to buy hookers for her boy friend along with an ounce of Purivian cocaine…and she’s doing all this while she is eatting a Pop Tart in the kitchen with me.

You wouldn’t sit at the dinner table with me, eating Thanksgiving dinner, while having a detailed conversation on the phone. You know that would be rude because you are a smart kid.Well, texting is the same thing.And at least, when you are on a real phone, we get the general idea that what and who you are talking to. I’m able to tell you are making plans to go to the movie with your friends and you are not discussing the rising prices of condoms or how to buy Jack Daniels without an ID.

When you text in front of us, we don’t know what the hell you are talking about or who you are talking to. Don’t get mad when we ask, be grateful you have a parent that cares.  I know a lot of kids who don’t have any adults in their lives who care what or who they do.

So we ask, “who are you talking to?” Answer politely, unless it is a Colombian drug lord, and stop texting while you are hanging out with us. We love you and don’t really want to take your phone away. And when you grow up, if you text in front of your boss, he’s probably going to fire you.

The second biggest complaint about parents on Twitter seems to be “I  hate it when my parents come in my room, then when they leave they don’t close the door.”  Hey, grown ups, close the door when you leave your teenagers room! Good Lord, thats just common courtesy…so they can text bad things about you in peace. Just kidding.  I don’t think they are actually interested enough in our lives to spend much time texting about us.

Please let me know what you think, write to me at hampoland@gmail.com  or leave a comment. You can even text me if your really need to.

Stop Being Mean To Your Kids In Public, It Makes You Look Pathetic

Please, stop being mean to your kids in public. I don’t care if you are a redneck in Wal-Mart or picking up a espresso in Starbucks. You look and sound like a witch when you are rude or snarky to your own kids in public.

Seriously, do you think anyone wants to invite you over for a beer or a spin class when you treat your child with absolute disdain in public? Do you think the cute guy with tight little sideburns wants to spend any time with a woman who is mean to her kids. Here’s what he’s thinking, ‘if she’s mean to her kids she’ll probably be mean to me too”.

And consider this, when you are mean, tense, snarky or short with your child, I’m pretty sure, you look about ten years older than you are. It’s true.

Don’t yell at them, don’t roll your eyes and hiss at them, don’t swat them on the back of the head or I’m going to inject myself into the situation.

Ok, so you’re busy texting and talking and trying to decide what shade of hose you really need. Yeah, that stuffs pretty important, but don’t act like a spoiled thirteen year old when your child interrupts because he really has to go to the bathroom.

Smile, for God’s sake. He needs you. And don’t make the “I’m such a martyr” sigh, The one you make so all the world knows you are overworked and exhausted. Lot’s of moms seem to specialize in that noise. Cut it out.

And here’s my final tip, don’t spank a crying child and expect him to stop crying. She’s going to cry more if you hurt her. And again, you’re making your self look bad and everyone standing close to you is thinking that poor kid has such horrible, mean, stupid parents