Tag: parents

Pretty Girl, Love Your Instagram Face!

This morning I was putting on makeup. I’ve always been bothered by my chin. When I smile,  my chin leans to the right.  My mom pointed this out to me lots of times when I was little so it always bugged me.

I yelled at my 17 year old son, Sandor, “Hey, have you ever noticed that my face is crooked when I smile?” He’s been looking at my face all my life.

“What are you talking about?” he asked

I walked into his room and grinned at him, hard. He was still in bed, not wanting to get up for school.
“Look! See how my chin goes to the right. And look at these lines. My face is jacked.”

Sandor studied my face for a long time. Maybe 30 seconds. He’s been looking at my face since the day he was born. I’m his mother. “I guess I can see it, but I never noticed. That’s weird.”

He had never noticed this thing, with my face. But I’ve been seeing it for 50 years, because my mom pointed it out when I was a little kid.

Oddly enough, my mom, who was a brilliant amazing women, also pointed out when I was seven or eight that my ears kind of poked out a lot and I had thin hair. Big ears and thin hair.  Mom was constantly trying to figure out how to cover up my ears for church.( I think that’s why I wasn’t in any of the fancy family photos back then.) One day she asked if I would would like to have a little surgery for ear pinning, so they wouldn’t stick out so much. Who asks an 8 year old about plastic surgery?

Lots of times as we ate dinner as a family when I was a little my dad would cheerfully say “Don’t make the girl clean her plate, the fat ones are hard to get married off.” It was a joke. But I still remember it, still quote him. It sank down into my brain, but he was just kidding.

I’ve always had a strong nose, It’s a family nose. Strong. When I was seven or nine my Grandmother, Bubba, who was born in 1895, suggested when we watched tv together I wrap my fist around my nose. So, it wouldn’t grow so much. She had been reading about the Chinese women who wrapped their feet to keep them from getting too big. It was logical. She was trying to help me be more beautiful.

So, I held my nose in my fist, as I watched the Brady Bunch and H.R. Puffinstuff. For 8 year old me, that made sense. My nose was too big and they were trying to help. They loved me.

Now, flash forward 50 years latter. I still kind of hate my face and avoid pictures. But I like my face too. I never knew why but yeah, it’s pretty obvious. But my family loved me and meant well, truly.

But the 60’s were hell, especially for an affluent little girl who was supposed to look “a certain way.”

Young women….you will never younger or prettier than you are right now. Stop hating on your self and your beautiful face. You are 35 right now and so gorgeous, still you think you are ugly, need more work. How will you survive when you are 50? Good God love yourself. Nobody notices your funny chin….except for you. Seriously.

 

Thankfully, my four children are fine and golden and beautiful. Yes, each have quirks and  unique physical features.  But they are all four are perfect.

Parents, please please be cautious. The comments you make now will haunt your children for years and years.

Idiot Parents

mustangYesterday I heard a story on CBS News. Based on information from  The Insurance Institute for Highway Safety the best used cars for teens are “big, slow and ugly.” It took the insurance companies of America to point out the obvious.

I’m so sick of idiot parents who buy their teens a red Mustang V6 and with way too much horsepower and then they are surprised when their kids drives too fast.

I know your child has staggeringly white teeth and a 2.8 GPA and you want you baby to be popular but for the love of god, don’t put them in a sports car. Because they will drive way too fast and hurt and possibly kill themselves, their friends and other innocent people on the road.

Your teenager has a brain that is not fully formed.  That’s why teens make bad decisions sometimes.

You’re brain, Mom and Dad, is supposed to be all connected and put together. So you must make the sound judgment calls that will keep Joe Joe and Skippy safe.  But you apparently would rather be the cool dad and buy your kid (who, by the way, will probably lose their scholarships in their freshman year because of frat parties) a brand new Charger with a V8 and top speed of 175 miles an hour. Guess what, your kids is gonna drive way too fast in that car. And it’s your fault because you gave it to him for graduating from high school.

I drive super slow, I poke along like a sloth and I’m pretty sure if I had that car even I would drive too fast, because THAT’S WHAT THE CAR WAS DESIGNED TO DO!

Bottom line. You are a moron if you buy your kid a sports car. They will drive way way to fast. I can almost promise you that.  And when your child passes me on Highway 5 because I’m doing the speed limit and he wants to go 80 in his silver 2014  Mustang, when he causes an accident and he dies and I die, I swear to you my ghost and hopefully are going to come looking for you….the idiot parents.

Horrible Little Girls On The Beach

????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????Lex and I were lying in the soft, white sand, listening to the waves and seagulls. when a  family started hauling plastic buckets and shovels in our direction.  A young mom and dad dutifully  followed their seven or eight year old daughter in a sparkly pink two piece swimming suit. She looked adorable.

The parents plopped down into the sand then the little girl put her hands on her skinny hips and said, “Chop chop people this sand castle isn’t going to build itself.”

Lexie and I looked at each other with ” Oh my Lord, did you hear that?” expressions.

They all worked on the castle like Egyption slaves building the pyramyds for a few minutes then the little girl flung her pony tail back and forth and pointed at her smiling mother.  “If you’re not going to do what I say, you’re fired. Totally fired, get off my construction sight.”

The mom smiled and kind of laughted then walked away. She glanced at her handsome, shirtless,  husband, who did nothing, then she  sat down in a chair twenty feet away. She was smiling and then it became obvious she was nearly in tears.

First, I want to say I was so disapointed in the dad.  Why didn’t he stand up to his nightmare of a drama queen daugher and say “You can’t talk to your mother that way.” Instead he kept trying to laugh it off and he did as his daughter said. (That’s called being a slave.)

They kept working together for a few minutes and everything the girl did the father praised as though she’d discovered the cure to eboli.  It was stupid how they were sucking up to this kid.

The parents didn’t know what was wrong with their daughter, who continued to boss her dad around.  But Lexie and I knew precisly what was going on. She was a bitchy little Disney Channel kid.

If you watch the Disney Channel you will see countless adorable and beautiful little girls who are bossy, mean and narcissistic.  They talk to their mothers like they are idiots.. They treat their tv fathers like they are morons, and everyone claps and laughs.

The truth is. it may be kind of cute when they are little and percousis,  but you are raising a monster.  First it’s the sandcastle, then your daughter will look at you in Macy’s, roll her eyes, and say “can you hurry up and pay the woman?” and then when she’s seveenteen she’ll put her hands on her skinny hips, roller her eyes and say, “give me the keys now, I don’t want to wait anymore.”

That’s what the Disney girls do all the time. They are mean-spirited, aggressive, rude and they love to start fights and boss adults around.  Maybe  this all this started out as a way to balance the self esteem issuewith little girls….. but it’s back fired.

Because of Disney and Nickelodeon girls,    we are raising a generation of girls who are spoiled, bossy, mean and bratty.They will be unemployable in their twenties (because they won’t tolerate a boss) and what man will want to marry such a bossy bitch?

Parents you are not alone. If you are in your twentys or thirtys you  need to stand up, turn off Disney and Nick, tell your  girls “yes you are pretty and smart but NO you are not in charge.” If you don’t don’t have the guts to do that you will have to  deal with the oncoming nightmare of an unemployable, unmatchable, intolerable bitch of a little girl. They are beautiful but doomed.

Parents….seriously….ist’s up to you.