How to Pick A Husband…. Part II

alex christmasLast Sunday was horribly cold and raining. Sandor and I went to Walmart, then sprinted back to the car, splashing in nearly freezing puddles. After putting the fifteen bags of groceries into the car we jumped in, soaked, shivering and laughing.

I was so cold my fingers shook as I turned the key. And there was that horrible silence. Sandor and I looked at each other as I tried again.  I’d left the lights on and the battery was dead.

I took a deep breath before calling my husband, Alex.  I knew he’d just gotten home from a miserable nightmare of a day at work. He’d gone in at 4:30 am, to face frozen boilers, employees who didn’t show up, and a flooded kitchen.

When I explained  what had happened he sighed heavily and my heart broke just a little. Then he said, “I’ll be there in fifteen.”

Sandor and I managed to save the parking spot directly in front of my car so he could pull his truck right up to my bumper.  He arrived, jumped out, raised the hood then I saw him shake his head and wince.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

He looked down and so did I. He’d left the house in his slippers, no socks, and was standing in a puddle of nearly frozen water. “Oh Lord, I’m so sorry,” I said.

And that’s when he laughed a little and made a joke. He and Sandor hooked up the cables as the rain turned to freezing rain. He kept shaking his hands, trying to get them warm. Briefly he explained the positive and negative terminals to Sandor who is eleven, before he signaled for me to crank the engine.

Here’s what Alex never did. He never griped or yelled at me. He didn’t try to make me feel any worse than I already did. He didn’t complain once though it was a horrid and painful situation.

Instead he saved his wife and set a good example for his son. I don’t want Sandor to grow up to be the kind of man who gets mad at his wife for being human. He can follow his dad’s example.

There are times Alex screws up big time.  Last week I bought a new skirt for an event we had to attend. I got dressed and he casually said, “That outfit makes you look really boxy.”

I was mad and sad and crushed and he was standing on paper thin ice about to fall into the frigid waters of “Lake Pissed-Off Wife”.

But when I really needed him he was there. And  he almost smiled.

How To Pick A Husband

diana and alexI feel the need to tell this story. I get mad at my husband Alex, all the time, because he’s not very romantic. He’s a man. But there was a time…back in the day.

In 1991 I was running around Hot Springs trying to bring my new magazine The Spring, to life. I was writing stories and selling ads and delivering…all the time.  There was a good looking cook at Acapulco’s  (Now the Colorado Grill) who flirted with me and asked me out all the time. But I ignored him and  thought he was just a player cause all the girls in town liked him.  Alex was lean, dark and sexy.

I went on a date one night with a landscape architect from Duke University. We had dinner at Acapulco’s where Alex ran the kitchen. The second my date left the table to go to the bath room, I swear to you, Alex Hampo walked right up to me and said, “Why are you out with him? I saw you first.”

It was the cutest most immature thing I’d ever heard. He thought he’d called “Dibs” on me and was completely indignant.

When the landscape architect returned Alex shifted gears and started schmoozing the guy. Alex was charming and when my date asked where we should go for dessert and after dinner drinks Alex said we had to go to a place called Edelweiss (in the basement of Spencer’s Corner).

Of course when we arrived at Edelweiss, Alex was already there. Waiting for us. I hate to admit this because it was horrible and immature but as soon as my date was out of the room….I left with Alex. We went dancing.

I’m not proud of this story but it’s one of my favorites.  Dude from Duke University, I’m sorry.

But apparently my instincts were right that night.

Spooning, Bacon and Husbands

alexI was eating bacon this morning with a friend who has a miserable situation at home right now.  Bacon is the only thing that might help.

As we were leaving she said, “Has Alex finished your kitchen?”

“Hell no,” I laughed.

“Oh no, it’s almost Thanksgiving.”  She sounded genuinely alarmed.

“He still has to put the trim around all the flooring.  And all the countertops are still plywood.” I realized how bad that sounded after I opened my car door. “Hey, it could be a lot worse, one year he decided he could build a deck out of the big wooden pallets.”  Turned out that was a very bad idea. And ten years ago he thought it would be a great idea to upholster our bar with all our old Taekwondo belts. Lexie was eight at the time and thought it was so pretty.

I was trying to make her feel better by telling her about some of Alex’s silly ideas. But once I got in the car I remembered there’s some other stuff he does that’s not so silly.   He resets the alarm every morning and gets dressed in the dark, so he won’t wake me up. He does math homework with Sandor because I’m not very good at it. Secretly he cuddles the cat when nobody is around.  He never gripes when the kids and I have to run off to a Taekwondo tournament or I need a new dress so I can announce an MMA event, and last night when I absolutely insisted on spooning for five or ten minutes he just laughed and let me have my way. “We’re gonna spoon and you’re gonna like it, damn it.”

Alex doesn’t send me flowers, call me “sweetheart” or “beautiful” he never buys me  extravagant jewelry (he would if he could I think)  but when I have an emotional break down and cry for two days because we’re broke he doesn’t get mad or make fun of me. Instead, he puts up with me, day after day and that’s a pretty big deal.