Your Daughter’s New Friend Is A B*#ch

There is a terrible moment moment when your daughter introduces you to her new friend and you know, instantly, she’s a backstabber,a user and a bitch.

Her hand shake is fine, she is pretty and smiles. She has nice teeth. But you know because the ultra-developed mom radar starts pinging as though the Soviet Army is about to strike.

Your daughter doesn’t see it. She can’t feel that the bitch switch has been flipped and insists Heather is a sweetie and lots of fun and a good friend.

This is a sickening situation for any parent because we know this Heather, at some point, will become hateful. She’s one of those kids who tries to influence weaker students and if she can’t take over their life she starts trash talking. These girls are a nickel a dozen and every high school has pods of them.

This one, Heather, is not the traditional “mean girl” who owns the school. She’s a lot more manipulative. Boys suck up to her because she wears a lot of eye liner and that makes them think they will get some. Girls want her to like them because she’s got all the guys sniffing around.

You let her come over with several other girls, but you watch her very carefully. She’s good.  Her eye rolls are so subtle the other girls miss them.  Her sighs when somebody asks a silly question speak volumes. When one of the girls goes home early she starts making tiny comments that make the other girls, including your daughter, giggle. Then they bump against her and tell her to stop because they know what she is doing is wrong. Still, they are intrigues. Heather is choosing them over the other girl. She’s culling girls out.

In the car Heather tells you about her classes, she makes good grades but she says really disrespectful things about her teachers like, “Mr South is such a moron” and she makes comments about her parents that lead a mom to think they are shady. “They always stay out really late on Friday night” or “thanks for driving me home, my parents hate driving me anywhere.”

Then it really starts. Heather encourages girls to break up with their boyfriends. She tells them they  can do so much better. When the break up happens, she starts flirting, hard core, with the boy, saying, “Well you broke up with him I figured you wouldn’t care.”

Eventually, Heather will have two or three allies, they are her body guards and comrades, who have fallen under the troll’s spell. She’s cut everyone else out because they started to see the evil bitch shining through like a red light. And if  girls are not on her side they have giant targets super glued to their backs.

You want to warn your daughter, you want to tell her exactly what kind of person Heather is and forbid their friendship. But that will not work. She will think you are wrong and old. Heather will become Romeo and you will loose. The best you can do is counsel your child when you see Heather doing something bitchy. Make sure she sees it too. I’m not very good at being subtle so I say stuff like, “Hey, if she’s talking ugly about Julie when she leaves, she’s probably talking about you guys too,” or “She rolls her eyes and sighs like she thinks she’s better than everyone else. Doesn’t that make you crazy?”

In saying this super obvious stuff I’m hoping my girls will see the train and jump off the tracks before it runs her over. And, if Heather has her way, and turns on your kid, the best you can do is help her regroup, figure out who her real friends are and start all over.  Try to reach out to the other girls who got hit by shrapnel And generally saying something really snarky makes everybody feel better like, “Honey, she’s got funny looking ears, fat ankles and she’ll never make it through college. You can do way better.”

When Mean Girls Act Nice…..Runaway!

I’m pretty sure this happens to every one.  There’s a mean person in your life, I mean a back stabbing, gossip spreading, kitten kicking wench. She works in your office, goes to you PTO meetings, maybe she’s your cousin or sits next to you in biology. 

This horrible person doesn’t like you, she doesn’t seem to like anyone, except her evil twin, the one other person in the class or office who is equally as vile. At night they probably talk on the phone and come up with new ways to cook puppies and make your life miserable.

When you run into the witch in the store or kitchen you nod, don’t you? You still say “hi” and smile, even though you don’t want to.  And she smiles back, as though she actually likes you, but doesn’t respond.

You know the truth though, she thinks you are stupid because you are friendly. She thinks you are a suck up becasue you show compassion, even to your boss and the lady who cleans the office at night. She thinks your politics are all wrong and your kids, friends, boyfriend are horrible.

Then one day, Hildagard the Horrible does or says something nice and seems sincere. She leaves a couple of concert tickets on your desk because she can’t go.  She says your new hair cut looks nice. And then she actually sits down next to you at the Band Booster meeting or in your office or in biology…. just to visit. But she starts talking about other girls and women right?  She’s trashing them and trying to get you to be on her side. Don’t do it. She’ll say the same stuff about you next week.

It’s shocking, right?  This kind of thing scares me to death becasue I want to trust her but I know there’s something funky going on. I know I should forgive her and hope she remains nice. But last week I was told she thinks I have a scrawny flat and a big mouth. (Even if she’s right it’s a mean thing to say.)

I used to think this revolting and vicious behaviour started in girls when they got to high school.  Nice girls get boobs and suddenly turn into cut throat little bitches, who smile sweetly as they disembowel your best friend. But recently I noticed something really interesting. It’s the stupid girls who are pretty, who turn really mean.  Maybe their lack of intelligence makes them insecure. It’s so pathetic.

Last night  I watched Toddlers and Tiaras. Guess what, it doesn’t start in high school, it starts with the mothers. 

Listen if you have a daughter who’s turning into a bitch…do something about it. And if you are raising your little girl to be a cut throat snake who thinks she’s better than everybody else in her kindergarten class you are making a huge mistake. And chances are, eventually she’ll turn on you too.

A High School Blog With A Drama Queen!

    It finally happened. My daughter, Lexie, started her own blog. I think she did it because she’s tired of me telling stories about her all the time. Her blog is all about high school in a rural Southern county. She doesn’t slam anyone but she absolutely tells it like it is. In her first piece she explained why she wanted to punch a girl in the face. The kid is a big time drama queen, so I kind of want to punch her too.

Recently she wrote about kids who say mean things but start the conversation with “No offense but….”  Here’s the dea, if you start a sentence that way you know your going to hurt somebodies’ feelings. So you shouldn’t. Just shut up and talk about the weather.

Lex also used the phrase, “If you can’t fix it, don’t dis’ it”. That’s a really good rule for everyone. If I have black stuff on my teeth tell me so I can go scrape it off. But if my nose looks bigger than usual just leave me alone. I can’t fix it.

So, if you want to take a look into highschool life you should stop by  Apparently, teenagers do have feelings and are pretty smart.