My Old Black Men, Old Dog and Old Car….My Life

gilYesterday on a morning talk show one of the hosts said, “You can figure out anybody by looking at their car, their dog and their I-tunes play list.”

Holy Cow, if that’s true, and  it might be, I’m in trouble.

1. First, lets take a look at my car. It’s a 2001 Nissan with 243,000 miles. My car almost has a quarter of a million miles on it. I know it’ll die someday but I don’t think that’s going to happen for another year or so.  I still drive the Nissan because I’m cheap and apparently not vain enough.  It’s paid for, it never breaks down and it gets 33-35 miles per gallon.  Clients are starting to tease me and that’s kind of unpleasant.  When I have to visit those who own car dealerships I borrow the radio station’s Hummer. It’s wrapped with flames and looks super hot. I feel great when I drive that thing but teens are kind of disappointed when I get out. I guess they expect a celebrity or smokin’ hot 23 year old DJ.

2. My dog, Theo.  He’s actually about the same age as my car, 12 or 13 years old we think. Theo is considered ancient because he’s a “great breed” and they aren’t supposed to live very long. According to the vet Theo is half Chow and half Great Pyrenees . He’s massive (125 pounds) hairy, red and smells really bad even after I give him a bath.  Theo is loosing his teeth, his hearing and memory.  But on a good day, when he does remember who I am, he looks at me with such devotion, adoration and love it nearly breaks my heart. Much like my car, I know I’ll have to let him go one day soon but that day hasn’t arrived yet.

3. And then there’s my most recent playlist on my phone. Yikes…this might be the most damning of them  all. I have a new phone and only fifty or sixty songs on it so far. There’s a bunch of Gil Scott Heron, the man credited with the creation of rap music.  He was a poet in the 60’s and 70’s, then he put his brilliant angry poetry to music.  His biggest hit was The Revolution Will Not Be Televised. One of my favorites is Whitey On The Moon.

“A rat done bit my sister Nell

And Whitey on the moon

Her face and arms began to swell

and whitey’s on the moon

I can’t pay no doctor’s bill

And whitey on the moon”


I also have a lot of Stevie Wonder and Keb Mo, so what I’m saying is, I have a lot of old black me on my play list plus Miranda Lambert, a pissed off and violent red-neck woman.

So, according to a morning radio host…that’s my life.  Pretty distressing.


News Flash: White Lady visits and Really Doesn’t Like Nicki Minaj.

Oh my Lord, I just visited for the first time and even though I’m a middle-aged white woman from Arkansas, I think it’s a great site. It reminds me of the old MTV, when they  actually show music videos. is full of music videos, lots of rap music, and entertainment news. yes, it’s mostly about black entertainers but I don’t think they mind me snooping around. And I saw Justin Beebers cute little white face in there too. But I couldn’t find anything about Keb Mo’ and the God Father of rap, Gil Scott-Heron. (If you love rap music and don’t know who he is you better do your home work and look for Whitey on the Moon and The Revolution Will Not Be Televised) Pit Bull, who is not black, bugs me, but sometimes my son, Jack, makes me really listen to Kayne lyrics and music, and I realize he’s brilliant. He’s just crazy insecure.

Rhianna makes me want to stab her with a fork because she’s determined to be a victim in ever freaking song. Come on, first it was the Chris Brown deal, then you do the song about Russian Roulette, then it’s you and the Eminem song where he beats you and threatens to tie you to the bed and burn the house down if you leave.  Rhianna, you’re a moron. Stop positioning yourself as a victim. But rap music is full of that.

I could write pages about Nicki Minaj. What’s the deal, she’s the only girl rapper? Ten years ago there were lots and lots of girl rappers. TLC come back, I miss you, Queen Latifiya. But now, with 3,209,000,000 women on earth(I looked that number up so it’s for real), Nicki is the only one who can rap? I’m not buying that. I know I can find another girl rapper.

So, back to it’s a good site. And if you want your kids to think your smart and cutting edge, take ten minutes to look around. You will learn things like some rapper named Tinie Tempah just paid 37,000 dollars for a pair of sneakers. It’s well organized, easy to get around and full of lots of relevant information. Even if your white! 

Mike Tyson and Popcorn Brain

This morning I had a terrible case of “popcorn brain”. This happens to me at least once a week when my brain is so full of fantastic ideas and projects that I can’t actually get anything done. I just pop from brilliant to more brilliant.

First, I was listening to a Mike Tyson interview. He’s soooo cool now. Tyson talked about his heavyweight championship belts, he said they were just trash, just old history, stuff that “represents money and dope” and that doesn’t mean much to him. Now, the only thing he really cares about are his family and kids and pigeons.

Then, I realized Sandor, who is eight, had never listened to Harry Belafonte, so we went through Tally Man, The Boo Boo Song while he ate breakfast.

Next, I heard Gil Scott Heron had died. I’ve loved him forever, he was the first rapper, forty years ago, long before Run DMC and the Sugarhill Gang. And while I was thinking about his song Whitey On The Moon.(I’ll write more on hime later). That’s when I realized our hummingbird feeder was empty and a different bird had finished a nest over the back door and I really needed to mop the kitchen bathroom.

All these thoughts made me reconsider “Thank You Note Week’, something I’ve been wanting to do forever. We should all write a thank you note to someone everyday, for one week. Thinking about thank you notes made me  remember it’s Sunday and we had to get ready for church and then maybe we should go to the lake, if it’s warm enough to swim. While I was looking for clean socks for Sandor we started cleaning out his drawers because they were an absolute nightmare. There was a turtle shell, kazoo and three sticky popsicle sticks in one drawer. Then I saw my boxing gloves buried in Sandors bead. I put them on and threw twenty jabs. I haven’t worked out in a week and it’s making me a little crazy.

All these thoughts in less than five minutes. It was pretty exhilerating. I love popcorn brain, Mike Tyson, Gil Scott heron and I really love being home.