“Stop and Frisk” is for Idiots! or how to make kids hate cops forever

friskImagine for a moment that my son, Sandor, who is about to turn 14, his adorable girlfriend and his best friend, Sam  are walking down Central Avenue in Hot Springs, Arkansas.  It’s Saturday and they are going to see a 2 pm movie.  They laugh and push each other as they walk toward the movie theater.

A police officer pulls up next to them and gets out of the car.

“Hold up a second. I need to talk to you guys.”

Sandor looks at his phone, he doesn’t want to miss the movie.  His girlfriend suddenly  looks pale  nervous. She squeezes his hand. He squeezes back.

“I need to see some ID.”

They all shake their heads. “We’re only 14, we don’t have any ID. We’re just going to a movie.”

The officer smiles, but it’s not friendly.”Well, I guess you’re gonna be a little late late. We got a call about some kids spay painting a building just a few blocks from here. One of them is a blond. Where are you guys coming from?”

“Our house, right up the street.”

The questions go on and on an on.

“What’s the address?”

“Where are you going?”

“Who are your parents? Do they know where you are?”

“Where were you an hour ago?”

“Is that paint on your jeans?”

“Why are you in such a hurry?”

Sandor isn’t as nervous now, but he’s starting to get angry. “It wasn’t us, we’re going to the movie. Seriously. You can’t do this. We weren’t doing anything wrong.” He’s wondering, why is this cop hassling them?

“Yes sir,” the Officer says. ” I can do this. I need both you to put your hands on the back of my car.”

“Why?” Sandor asks and his girl friend starts to cry a little.

“Just do what your told, kid,” the cop says and pushes both boys against his car.  He kicks their legs apart, really wide.

The girl friend pulls out her phone and starts to call her dad but the police officer says, “Please put you phone away.” The girl does what she’s told.

The officer runs his hand up and down their legs, inside and out, around the waist band of their jeans. He reaches inside Sam’s boots, then checks the front pockets of their jeans and the pockets of their hoodies.

A car load of teenagers honk and holler as they pass by.

Then the officer gets a call on his radio. He says, “Don’t move” to the boys. Sandor is so mad and humiliated, he wills himself not to cry in frustration.  He wants to hug his girlfriend and tell her it’ll be ok.

He can read the words on the side of the police car “Protect and Serve.”He looks at Sam, he wants him to see those words too. But Sam is gone. His face is ashen  blank, absolutely empty. His eyes look as though he’s shut down.  Sandor knows that look. It’s how Sam looks when he’s beyond angry, when he’s thinking about revenge and getting even. It’s his game face. Sam never lets anyone see his real emotions. But he never forgets.

The officer returns, “Alright guys, your good to go. They picked up the kids working on another building. Stay out of trouble.” And then he’s back in his squad car and gone.

Sam and Sandor don’t know what to say. But now, at the age of 14, they both hate and fear cops.  The officer humiliated, embarrassed and violated them. He made them feel weak and powerless in front of the entire town, in front of the girl, and for no reason. This feeling will never leave the boys.

That’s what the “Stop and Frisk” policy does to young men. I understand it might lead to a lot of arrests. But      “Stop and Frisk” will to turn an entire generation of African Americans, Muslims, Hispanics and whites kids against law enforcement. The officers will never be trusted or respected. Just feared and hated.  And that’s not what cops want.

“Stop and Frisk” is a lazy and easy way to make arrests. But it will destroy any hope of having minority communities work with the police.

Our Law Enforcement Officers deserve better and our young people will demand better, or seek their revenge for being humiliated.

 

  • This story is one hundred percent a work of fiction.

Meatloaf Can’t Stop Crying…Tonight on Celebrity Apprentice!

I’m re-posting my Celebrity Apprentice blog because I just heard the promo for tonight’s show. THREE PEOPLE WILL BE FIRED AND MEATLOAF CAN’T STOP CRYING. Happy Mother’s Day! I can’t wait and I think the show must be good for me. I look forward to Sunday night like a teenaged girl hungers for her phone after a two hour separation. I get happy thinking about Lil’ John and Star Jones and I deserve to be happy, right?

For two magnificent and decadent hours each week my daughter, Lexie and I, hole up in the bedroom to watch Celebrity Apprentice. We yell at Donald Trump,Star Jones and Gary Busey, we plot and plan and waste two hours of our lives. It’s great.

Watching really stinky tv for a couple of hours is the most delicious thing we do all week. We both know it’s bad tv, we both know it’s a waste of time and everybody else in the house rolls their eyes when Sunday rolls around and we turn on the tv. But it’s so freakin’ fun and it’s the perfect stress relief. As I write these words I can hear all family and child experts sighing, I know I’m supposed to discourage mindless tv watching and celebrity worship but have the heard some of the crazy stuff Gary Busey says?

Like most American families is schedule to the extreme. Alex and I both work full time and right after school the lessons, practices and work outs begin for Sandor and Lex. There’s band, taekwondo, jazz, gymnastics etc, then there’s home work, dinner and showers. But on Sunday nights there’s just a bunch of pillows, snacks and The Donald.

Last week when Trump didn’t fire Gary Busey, we nearly had simultaneous seizures. If Lil’ John says anything, we laugh our butts off cause he’s so smart and funny. LaToya makes us both cringe and we finally decided the right word for her is “vapid”. And last week, during the commercials I made Lex and Sandor watch Meat Loaf videos so they would know something about his rock and roll persona. That’s right, I let my daughter watch “Heaven by the Dashboard Lights”. He was a big fat rockin’ crazy man back then.

I know, a trip to the library, an art project or a hike together might be more wholesome and edifying but you have to find what fits. Sometimes family stress relief comes in the weirdest places. Lil’ John’s hair, Donald Trump’s hair, Gary Busey’s hair. The important thing is to recognize and protect that tasteless and irreplaceable time.

Bad TV Is So Good For My Family

For two magnificent and decadent hours each week my daughter, Lexie and I, hole up in the bedroom to watch Celebrity Apprentice. We yell at Donald Trump,Star Jones and Gary Busey, we plot and plan and waste two hours of our lives. It’s great.

Watching really stinky tv for a couple of hours is the most delicious  thing we do all week. We both know it’s bad tv, we both know it’s a waste of time and everybody else in the house rolls their eyes when Sunday rolls around and we turn on the tv. But it’s so freakin’ fun and it’s the perfect stress relief. As I write these words I can hear all  family and child experts sighing, I know I’m supposed to discourage mindless  tv watching and celibrity worship but have the heard some of the crazy stuff Gary Busey says?

Like most American families is schedule to the extreme. Alex and I both work full time and right after school the lessons, practices  and work outs begin for Sandor and Lex. There’s band, taekwondo, jazz, gymnastics etc, then there’s home work, dinner and showers. But on Sunday nights there’s just a bunch of pillows, snacks and The Donald.

Last week when Trump didn’t fire Gary Busey, we nearly had simultaneous seizures. If Lil’ John says anything, we laugh our butts off cause he’s so smart and funny. LaToya makes us both cringe and we finally decided the right word for her is “vapid”. And last week, during the commercials I made Lex and Sandor watch Meat Loaf videos so they would know something about his rock and roll persona. That’s right, I let my daughter watch “Heaven by the Dashboard Lights”. He was a big fat rockin’ crazy man back then. 

 I know, a trip to the library, an art project or a hike together might be more wholesome and edifying but you have to find what fits. Sometimes family stress relief comes in the weirdest places. Lil’ John’s hair, Donald Trump’s hair, Gary Busey’s hair. The important thing is to recognize and protect that tasteless and irreplaceable time.