Your Girl is Gonna Have Issues


daughterI’m not going to make up some lame lie as to why I’m writing this. Either he’ll get it or not.

There is a man who is fifty years old: he is a single father bravely raising a beautiful twelve year old daughter all on his own. His eighty five year old mother lives with them too and she  helps out a lot.

Here’s the problem. This dad, I’ll call him Gary, does a great job selling cars. He makes good good money in the little town he lives in. People love him at work, then he gets home, he drinks and then all he does it make fun of his daughter, he’s a jackass, a smart ass who mocks and teases and makes fun of his own beautiful daughter. He says she’s dumb, fat (she’s very thin) she’s slow, she’s selfish. He makes fun of her and pokes and criticizes until she cries. Every night ends in tears. Nothing the girl, I’ll call her Sara, is good enough.ry is breaking the girls heart and the grandmother’s too.

Here’s the weird part. When you talk to Gary all he does is brag about his daughter, constantly. It’s incredibly annoying. And this is coming from a woman who brags about her kids a lot.

I think Gary believes his being funny, I think Gary assumes he’s funny and that his daughter is being too sensitive.  Gary is wrong. Like lots of fathers.

Here’s the deal. Dads, you have one chance with your daughters.  You gotta love them and support them.  The first thing you say in the morning should be sweet, the first thing you say when they come home from school and the last thing you say at night has to be sweet and loving. Otherwise your daughter is gonna have big ass issues.

If you don’t adore her and say sweet things and support her here’s what will happen. She’s gonna get boyfriends way too early cause she needs male approval. She’s gonna have way too much sex way too early cause she wants a man to love her and she wants to punish you. She’s gonna hate men but still chase after them because you never really acted like you loved her.

So, dumb ass dad, get your act together and love your daughter, adore her, hug her and tell her you are proud. Along the way there will be plenty of time to correct her, to tell her purple hair isn’t a great idea, to tell her she can make better grades, to tell her she can do better.  But if you love that girl your words will be heard differently, they will be coming from a place of love. And they will make a difference.

She needs you to be sweet and loving. The world is harsh and ugly and unfair. You have to be her safe place so get your freaking act together.


Dads and Daughters…Who Has the Power?

dadDads out there, you have no idea how powerful you are.  If you have a daughter please know she adores you, she admires you , she worships you and she needs your attention, desperately.  This is true if your baby girl is 2 or 20.

You are the first man she will fall in love with. If you are there for her she probably won’t need an actual boyfriend until she’s in her teens.  If you  tell her she’s pretty and wonderful and smart, she won’t need conformation from a stinky boy for a long time.

If you are a cold  uncaring jerk, if you argue with your daughter constantly and criticize everything she does, she’ll probably find a boyfriend  who fills the gaps you leave before she leaves the school play ground.  Little girls need a man in their life who makes them feel special.  If you don’t do it they will find somebody  who will.

So dads, man up, do your job, hold her hand and tell her how lovely she is. Start when she’s young and you’ll save yourself from a boat load of heart ache and late night worry.

Now, I want to make one point very clear. I’m not telling all you guys to spoil your daughters…rotten. Spoil them with love and attention but not with crap and stuff.  If you buy her a I phone when she’s 7, a new Play Station every month when she’s 10 and a brand new car when she turns 16 YOU ARE AN IDIOT and SETTING HER UP FOR MISERY.  If you spoil her with “stuff” two things will happen.

She will equate love with money and merchandise and she will expect every man she meets and likes to buy her everything she wants. Don’t wreck her life like that, please.

You probably need to consider this too.  If you want your daughter to date and fall in love with good men who treat her with respect, treat her like a lady you should consider how you treat your wife or girl friend. If you’re a jack-ass who yells and screams at your woman, if you are rude, mean and ugly. If you’re a lazy deadbeat, your daughter will probably end up with a dude just like you. You’re telling her how women should be treated.

The  first time a boy friend screams at her or God forbid, slaps her, she will respond one of two ways.  She’ll get out of the car, cry and cry then forgive the guy and take him back. Or she’ll get out of the car, tell the guy if he ever lays a hand on her again she’ll rip his fingers off and eat them and never talk to him again.

How will your daughter respond? It’s on you, that’s how much power father’s have.