How Teen Sexting Starts….Yup, They Told Me The Truth

sextingDear Parents, the code has been broken.  One of Lexie’s friends recently explained to me exactly how teen age sexting with pictures starts.

As parents when we hear that a teenaged girl is in a pickel because she sent a picture of her boobs to a boy we sigh and groan and say ‘what the hell was she thinking, how could this happen?” Well, now I know.

It goes something like this and according to my 15 year old informant the script doesn’t vary much.

Girl and boy are flirting via text.

Guy: “I’m just lying here watching tv. I wish you were here.”

Girl: “Me too”.

Guy: “I’m  sore from lifting weights. But look at this”. Then he sends a picture of himself with his shirt off looking all ripped.

Girl: “Nice lol”

Guy: “You should send me a picture”.

Girls sends a picture of her pretty face.

Guy: “That’s not fair. Send me a good picture.”

And then…if the girl is stupid(that’s how teenager put it)…she sends him a picture of her boobs or maybe she’s wearing a bra. If she’s smart she laughs at him and says something like “No way.”

Then the teenager and Lexie and I discussed the next thing that happens. Both the boy and girl take their phones to school. The girl shows other girls the picture of the guys muscular chest, everybody comments and it’s not that big of a deal.

And the guy does the same thing. He shows all his friends, team mates and acquaintances, even his little brother and uncle,  the picture of the girl without her shirt. And it’s a very big deal because he promised he wouldn’t show anyone.

A friend of mine who is a fifty year old business man told me his sixteen year old son and two best friends were looking at a picture of a girl on their phone. then they handed it to my middle aged friend. He looked, of course, then deleted it andyelled at the boys. But he looked, because he’s a guy.

So girls, think about that.  They boy might show it to his dad. And if his dad is a total perv and ass he might not delete it.  When you send that picture of your boobs, lots and lots of people will probably see it.

As parents I think we have a few options.  We can pull our children out of school and keep them at home for the next ten years.

We can take away their phones or at least give them phones without cameras. Or, we can warn our daughters that this is how the situation almost always unfolds.  The boy will show everybody the pictures on his phone because he’s proud of them and thinks their hot. It doesn’t make him a bad guy, it just makes him a normal guy.

After I learned all this from the 15 year old I called one of my older, 20 something kids.  I started explaining how all the teenaged sexting starts and was interrupted when they laughed and said,  “Mom, I know how it starts.”

Ouch!  And I made a mental note. “Never ever pick up older childs’ phone and casually glance at the photos without permission.”

*Names have not been included to protect the innocent and guilty.

My Dear Rude Cell Phone Friends…

Dear Cell Phone Friends,      You are making me crazy and hurting my feelings. And, I think we have we all lost the understanding of what it means to have good manners on the phone. Everybody keeps being really rude and it’s making me furious and I feel  abused.

“Rude Thing Number One”    If I’m talking to you, don’t switch to another call unless it’s the freaking Secretary of State asking for your advice on the North Korea. Don’t dump me. Let the other people calling, who are blowing up your phone, leave a message or call back. I got there first. If I’m important in any way talk to me for a few minutes then talk the the next people. Hey, if your child is home alone for the first time and calls twice in 23 seconds, I understand. Dump me. But if it’s an average business call, if It’s your brother or veterinarian, you can call them back. When a friend says “my phone is blowing up” after an 18 second conversation I feel dumped and discarded. Honestly I don’t do that to you and if I do, I hope you’ll call me out.

“Rude thing Number Two” If we are having a face to face conversation and it means anything at all to you, don’t answer you phone when it rings. Push the button that makes your phone be quiet. If you answer and say, “I’m talking to Diana, call me latter” you are being rude to two people. Just don’t answer. It’s far more polite.

Rude Thing Number 3″  If we are talking, don’t text at the same time, even if you are a teenager.  When you text while talking to me you are saying, “You’re not interesting enough to hold my attention so I’m going to text my cool friend and talk to you at the same time.” Holy Cow, what the hell is wrong with you. Why would you think it’s ok to talk and text at the same time?

Of course I understand there are always exceptions. If there’s about to be a nuclear explosion and you’re the only one who knows the code to save the country, by all means, take the call. If your child sends a text because they just cut off the cats tail.  Take it.  But those are the exceptions.

The truth is I miss the busy signal. Remember what that sounded like? That  annoying but useful sound told people you were busy talking to somebody else and they needed to call back. What’s wrong with that? Nothing! Apparently the busy signal was the last vestige of courtsey and tact.

If you don’t agree with me, call me. I might not pick up right away cause I’m talking to my friend and they are important. I’m not going to hang up on the. But eventually, I’ll call you back and the message will be the same.

PS. Unless it’s an emergency, I’ve decided I’m not going to call you anymore. Hopefully you’ll read this blog then you’ll understand why. I love you.


I Can’t Hold A Grudge Anymore…What a Wuss

I’ve lost my touch. Years ago I didn’t just “hold a grudge”, I fed it and rocked it to sleep. If I got mad at someone, I was absolutely brutal and didn’t have any problem cutting them out of my life with a scalpel.

I was never ugly, I didn’t speak poorly of folks I was mad at or who hurt me. I simply acted as though they didn’t exsist. They became invisible to me.

Before you start lecturing me on forgiveness let my assure you I know how damning and detrimental  anger can be . I know WAY BETER THAN ANYONE ELSE that I was hurting myself and punishing myself with this absurd behaviour. I KNOW so please don’t  tell me about the importance of forgiveness.  You think I don’t know that? Hell yeah,  I know holding a grudge and not forgiving people makes you sick inside and out, it eats at you….etc… I’m stubborn and petty but I’m not stupid.

But I’ve lost the touch. I’m such a wimp now I can’t stay mad at people anymore, even if they really really hurt me. Even when I’m mad I know I still love them. And eventually, I relent, say, “what the hell” and drop the grudge. I realized this the other day when I caught myself smiling while thinking about someone who hurt me. I was smiling and that felt good so all of a sudden I decided I wasn’t going to be pissed off any more.  Suddenly, the tilted table, the see-saw, the scale, they all felt balanced and I felt really good.

I think part of the problem has to do with cell phones. Fifteen years ago it was so easy to avoid the offender who hurt your feelings. They couldn’t reach out to me when I was in the car or working out. All I had to do was refuse to pick up the phone at home and they were out of my life.

Now, because of cell phones, you can call me and text me all the time (I have a ancient cell phone so I can’t block numbers). You can send me a text that just says, “I really miss you”. That tells me your thinking about me and my hard heart starts to thaw.

I’m kind of disappointed in myself but I’m also relieved  Holding a grudge and dropping people like dirty socks takes a lot of effort.  Yeah, I still get mad, I get crazy smokin’ hot mad. And like everyone on the planet, I get my feelings hurt when you say or do something mean.  But if I get mad at you, just a wait a couple of weeks and chance are I’ll  get over it or,  I’ll miss you so much that I will decide to keep you in my life even though you are an ass.

And hopefully, when I really tick you off and make you made you will do the same.

*if you have a hot temper let me know, if you think I’m an idiot, please let me know. Send me an email at, leave a comment, hit the rss button at the bottom. Anything so I know you’re out there. Thanks, DH