The Horrors of Motherhood

When I looked out the window Saturday morning, I was horrified. I wanted to make sure the baby birds who recently hatched just out side our window were doing well.

They were not. Two of the babies, who didn’t even have all their feathers, were hanging upside down out of the nest. Their tiny feet were tied together and they dangled midair on a shining piece of silver Christmas tinsel. They looked as though they had been taken hostage and were being tortured by deranged elves.

I started yelling at Lexie to come look and she gasped. It was a shocking sight.

“I’ll go get them, I don’t even know if they are still alive,” I said as I pulled on my  shoes.

“No mom, you can’t interfere. It’s nature, you can’t do that.”

“What the hell are you talking about? Of course I have to get them. This isn’t the Star ship Enterprise or Star Wars. I don’t have to follow the Prime Directive. They are hanging upside down.’

Lex watched as I stood on two cinder blocks and cupped both birds in one hand then pulled the silver tinsel out of the nest. They were so horribly tangled there was no way I could free them quickly, but they were still alive, barely.

Once inside I put them on a cloth and Lexie worked to untangle their tiny claws for almost fifteen minutes. Once freed, both babies started chirping. I’m pretty sure they were saying, “Thank you Diana, you are so awesome.”

Sandor helped me climb back up on the cinder blocks and stuff them back into their cramped nest.  There were two more babies in there waiting for  momma. When our cat started lurking around, Sandor snatched her up and flung her threw the open bedroom window at Lexie.

I didn’t know if the momma would come back. But she did, almost instantly. And all the babies opened up their cavernous beaks instantly.  Their heads seemed to expand to twice their size, it was freaky.  As soon as she brought them a bug or two, they all looked just fine.

Twenty minutes later I looked out the window again. One of the babies was on the ground, hopping and chirping and our cat, who doesn’t actually have a name, was just ten feet away.  Again, I started screaming for Lexie to get out to the nest.

Mean while I did what I could to distract or scare the cat. When Lex rounded the corner she started laughing so hard she turned red. Momma bird was dive bombing the cat and I was leaning as far out the window as I possble could swinging our clock radio her evrytime she moved toward the bird.

Finally, Lex got between the cat and the fallen bird. I reeled in my clock.

We stuffed the baby back in the next then put an inflatable raft under the nest to break any further falls. Again, the mother came right back with fresh bugs and worms.

I grew up hearing that theory about momma birds abandoning their babies after human contact. What a bunch of bull. Good moms are way to tenacious and dedicated to let grubby human hands break up her family.

It’s been two days since our harrowing baby bird rescue. I checked on them this morning and everything appeared to be just fine, though our raft is now covered with bird poop.

20 Things That Make Me Happy!

This is a post from  Cause all this stuff made me smile too! DH

1. Bubble wrap    Always has. Always will
2. Cursing with a British accent
It just sounds so proper.
3.Seeing a cat not land on it’s feet
It’s a disgrace to the feline race.
4. Heated arguments over stupid stuff
“No! I wore pink yesterday”
5. Terrible songs we can’t help but like
“I like big butts and I can not lie”
6. Screaming high school coaches It’s just a game

7. Ugly dogs  It’s so ugly you think it’s cute

8. People that quote Dr. Seuss  They may not know anything. But just for a moment you think they’re profound
9. Our national anthem  Yea. It’s just great!

10. Old men in tiny shorts  It’s gross but you gotta give them props. What a man.

11. Slime  Simplicity that keeps you entertained for hours.

12. Hand clap thingies that every elementary girl does at some point in her life.  Apple sticks they make me sick.

13.Skipping school for the horse races   Come on Zippidy Doodat!Go number 7.
14. Afros  Way to be awesome! I want a high-five now.

15. Hot baths and candles. Even alone they’re so peaceful

16. My legs after I shave them  So so so smooth.

17. First glass of milk in the carton  Freshest thing out there.
18. Terrible acting   You watch and think. They get paid how much? For that?

19. Mom’s that say inappropriate things “You two would make such cute babies”

20. Punching stuff   BOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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If you don’t I will come to your house and hide under your bed. Muhahaha