The youngest child,the baby in the family really does have a charmed life. By the time the third or fourth or sixth kid comes along parents are old and exhausted.
Making up rules and laying down the law takes a ridiculous amount of effort. So we lighten up a little, then we lighten up a lot.
When Jack and Mary were little I was a beast, a fun, silly, loving beast, but a beast nonetheless. Rooms had to clean, vegetables had to be eaten, and if anybody messed up my favorite punishment was the bathtub. I made them sit in timeout in the bathtub. I’d say things like, “just stare at the grout for ten minutes then well talk.”
And my temper was epic back then. I had volcanic explosions, things were broken, lots of things, like boom boxes and Swiffers. Stuff that cost me money to replace, but I couldn’t control myself. I didn’t tolerate whining, eye rolling, bad attitudes, laziness, back talk. Once when Mary and Jack whined about a happy meal toy I threw their brightly colored cardboard boxes, food and toy out the window. They were shocked and speechless but nobody every complained about a toy again. (Even back then I didn’t believe in spanking. I was way to creative for that.)
Sandor is ten now and the boy has it good. Being explosive and having nuclear meltdowns takes a lot of energy. I’m more inclined to talk to him, to analyze the situation and sort things threw. Yeah, I still get really mad sometimes but I can’t remember the last time I broke anything. If he makes all A’s he gets thirty dollars, but if he walks in with a B, I say something lame like. “You better fix that grade young man, you understand?”
For years I was a category five hurricane, now I’m a downgraded tropical storm. His room is a mess, he sometimes listens to music he shouldn’t, he and his friends stay up too late on the weekends and sleep in their clothes. Still, I have rules and he sticks to them. He has excellent manners, knows how to shake hands like a man, always makes the honor roll and he actually likes vegetables.
But I’m pretty sure he gets away with stuff I never would have put up with fifteen years ago. But my one rule still stands for Sandor and I’m not backing down. “No smoking crack in the living room!”
(Hey, if you like hampoland do me a favor. donate to my daughter’s fundraising efforts. I’ve never figured out how to make money on this blog so you can help us out. There’s only 39 hours left to contribute so hurry and any donation, no matter how small, is appreciated. And her video is pretty funny too.http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/representing-america-in-european-taekwondo-championship?c=home )
