It Spring time and that means the turtles are on the move. I don’t know why they feel the need to cross the street in order to woe a another sexy turtle mate successfully. I don’t know why they can’t date a turtle from their side of the road. But they can’t, so they must cross the street.
And every Spring I see the thing that absolutely enrages me. People run over turtles. It’s horrendous and completely avoidable. If you can’t avoid hitting a turtle you should not have a drivers license. If you do it on purpose, you’re going to Hell.
This was my frame of mind last Spring when I came up with a new plan to save the turtles. Alex didn’t know what was going on when several boxes of plastic turtles arrived via Amazon Prime. The first box had 100 tiny turtles in a plastic bag. They were adorable, buy only the size of a quarter. They were too small for my plan.
I hit pay dirt with the next delivery, six perfect, life like plastic turtles, hand painted from Germany.
At first Alex was fascinated by my plan to save the turtles. Then, as he watched me carefully insert a big fat nail into the beautiful plastic turtles his fascination turned into fear…for me.
“I’m gonna put this on the side of the highway. If people run over a turtle they’ll get a flat tire,” I announced.
Alex laughed, then realized I was serious. Really, really serious. “I’m pretty sure that’s against the law.”
“Who’s gonna know?” I shrugged. “I won’t put them near out house.”
“Seriously, this is a bad idea, Diana.”
“We’ll see,” I said in my best “casual I’m not gonna do it voice”. I didn’t want him to be arrested as an accomplice.
Eco-terrorism suits me. So, this Spring, if you see a turtle looking for a hot date. I suggest you do everything you can to avoid him.