Really Tough Life Lessons

dirt bikeI was feeling profound this morning and wanted to tell Sandor, who is twelve, something important.

The Yoda part of my brain realized something yesterday. We are what we are. But we are also who we choose to be.

It was raining this morning.  Sandor got in the truck with his backpack and  I said, “Hey, I want you to think about something.   You can look at every member of our family and pick and choose the qualities you want to have. Your Dad has the most extraordinary work ethic, he works harder than any man I’ve ever known.  That’s a good quality. But he smokes, you don’t need that. You understand what I’m saying?”

“Yes ma’am.”

“So what are Mary’s best qualities you’d want to have?”

Sandor fiddled with the radio knobs then said, “She’s really fun and pushy so she gets things done and she still plays.  I always want to play like that.” I knew exactly what he was talking about. At twenty six Mary is the person most likely to tackle you in the yard when you are watering the garden or lie down right on top of you while you’re trying to watch the news. She’s really fun and affectionate.

I continued with my high minded thoughts as I handed him a ten dollar bill for his field trip. “So you can always pick and choose the qualities you want to have.  Don’t let anybody tell you that you’re born the way you are and that’s it.  You are what you are….a little bit. But what’s even bigger is you are what you decide to make your self. You get to decide what kind of person you’re gonna be. And this goes on for the rest of your life. Even after your grown up you can still pick and choose qualities you admire and make them your own.”

I stopped in front of his school. The rain was coming down in sheets so Sandor pulled his hoodie over his head.

I looked him dead in the eye. “You have any questions?”

“Yeah, if it keeps raining today can I go over to James’ house and practice riding my dirt bike in the mud?  It’s the perfect day.”

I nodded my head, “Sure you can.”




2 thoughts on “Really Tough Life Lessons”

  1. Your ability to transfer your thoughts, feelings, and love for your family is a talent so rare.
    So proud of you.
    If I could re-do being a mom, I would want to be the mom you are to Sandor.
    Keep up the good work…your legacy is in your children and their choices.

    Know anybody who has a cheap pontoon boat for sale? lol!

  2. Well….he knows he is a great at mud riding. Diana…..he is going to be a great man. I know his mom and dad.
    Jo Ellen

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