I’m Worried About Fergie

fergieIt’s rare that I feel sorry for uber hot women who make millions and millions of dollars. But I’m starting to feel a little sorry for Fergie of the Blackeye Peas.

Yeah, I’m sitting at a little desk and pretty soon I’ll walk out and get in my little 2001 Nissan (with 245,000 miles on it). But I’m worried about Fergie because her situation is  bleak.

Here’s the issue. Fergie is aging and it shows  Generally, white women, when compared to Asian, Hispanic and Black women, don’t age very well.  My mom used to say we had “cheap ten cent skin that didn’t last very long.”

To make matters Fergie has to stand next to a couple of black men all the time.  They don’t age, they just get cooler and cooler.  Nobody knows or cares how old Will I Am is, and he wears so much bizarre stuff, we can’t really see his face.

Will I Am is just the brilliant funky Blackeye Peas dude. Fergie, on the other hand, is supposed to be “the hot one”, and from a distance she still is.  But white skin seems to crack faster than brown and black. It sucks but it’s the truth. When you look at publicity shots and their web site she looks just like she did five years ago because they can touch her up. But when you see her live or untouched photos it’s clear she’s aging like a normal woman.  Take a look at her neck.

I go through the same thing with my husband Alex. He smokes a pack a day and of course he’s never used any sort of lotion but  the man doesn’t have any freaking wrinkles.  He’s five years older than me but his skin isn’t aging cause he’s a swarthy Hungarian guy with caramel colored olive oil skin.  I’ve got cheap ten cent Scotch Irish flesh.  I could cover myself in Crisco and my skin would still wrinkle and crinkle like tissue paper.

Fergie is certainly much hotter than I am or I ever was, but she has thousands of people staring at her every day under bright lights, photographers zoom in on her flesh like astronomers looking at Mars and she’s not supposed to age…she’s supposed to remain perfect, ageless and hot.  I’ve got four kids and a mortgage, people expect me to get old.

So, next time I’m in a group and they want to take a picture, I’m going to find a great big old white person. I’m sure as hell not gonna stand by the cool black dude, so Will I Am….get away from me.

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2 thoughts on “I’m Worried About Fergie”

  1. You are too frickin’ funny.. poor Fergie indeed, gets to sleep with Josh Duhemal! 😉 heh hey’

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