Holy Cow, if that’s true, and it might be, I’m in trouble.
1. First, lets take a look at my car. It’s a 2001 Nissan with 243,000 miles. My car almost has a quarter of a million miles on it. I know it’ll die someday but I don’t think that’s going to happen for another year or so. I still drive the Nissan because I’m cheap and apparently not vain enough. It’s paid for, it never breaks down and it gets 33-35 miles per gallon. Clients are starting to tease me and that’s kind of unpleasant. When I have to visit those who own car dealerships I borrow the radio station’s Hummer. It’s wrapped with flames and looks super hot. I feel great when I drive that thing but teens are kind of disappointed when I get out. I guess they expect a celebrity or smokin’ hot 23 year old DJ.
2. My dog, Theo. He’s actually about the same age as my car, 12 or 13 years old we think. Theo is considered ancient because he’s a “great breed” and they aren’t supposed to live very long. According to the vet Theo is half Chow and half Great Pyrenees . He’s massive (125 pounds) hairy, red and smells really bad even after I give him a bath. Theo is loosing his teeth, his hearing and memory. But on a good day, when he does remember who I am, he looks at me with such devotion, adoration and love it nearly breaks my heart. Much like my car, I know I’ll have to let him go one day soon but that day hasn’t arrived yet.
3. And then there’s my most recent playlist on my phone. Yikes…this might be the most damning of them all. I have a new phone and only fifty or sixty songs on it so far. There’s a bunch of Gil Scott Heron, the man credited with the creation of rap music. He was a poet in the 60’s and 70’s, then he put his brilliant angry poetry to music. His biggest hit was The Revolution Will Not Be Televised. One of my favorites is Whitey On The Moon.
“A rat done bit my sister Nell
And Whitey on the moon
Her face and arms began to swell
and whitey’s on the moon
I can’t pay no doctor’s bill
And whitey on the moon”
I also have a lot of Stevie Wonder and Keb Mo, so what I’m saying is, I have a lot of old black me on my play list plus Miranda Lambert, a pissed off and violent red-neck woman.
So, according to a morning radio host…that’s my life. Pretty distressing.