I recently discovered a website called uneducated trader.com. It seems to be a website for idiots interested in the stock market. Perfect. I’m raising my hand because I’ve always kind of sort of wanted to understand stocks and trading. I think I’m supposed to actually be a rich person rather than an insecure middle class one and it seems the stock market might be able to help me.
I want to make enough money to buy a boat, a fast boat, so I can drag my children behind it and listen to the scream.
So, I read the first two paragraphs on the home page. I almost understood all the words and the guy writing it, “Adam” is defiantly aiming for and trying to help idiots. He writes things like , ” To tell you a little bit about me, I have exactly 1 year of trading experience as of this post and I am not very good at it.” He sounds like my kind of man.
Then he started talking about the “tim trading challenge”, he explained penny stocks, SNPK, JVA and The Worst Pump of the year. My eyes glazed over and I started counting the freckles on my right arm. I tried to read on, I looked at the graphs, then changed the ink cartridge in my printer.
I’m an idiot. I should have money but I don’t. Sadly, I don’t think I’m going to make it in the stock market because I get distracted by shiny crap, I get restless. I guess the stock market isn’t for me. But maybe you can figure it out then help me. Or, maybe you can buy a boat and invite us out every weekend. My motto ever summer has been, “Make more friends with boats.”
I’ll bring the sunscreen and children.