Sometimes life beats you up and leaves you floating in the seaweed under an old pier. Sometimes you beat yourself up along with life, you end up mangled and bleeding. Those moments or months are horrible. You might as well be on a horse running full speed into a bunch of branches and then you drop the reins.
Recently, a dear friend of mine fell victim to life. It was beating the snot out of her. After a few weeks she couldn’t even keep her hands up to block the punches. She started projects but didn’t follow through, she forgot to pay bills and put gas in her car. She lost her keys and missed appointments. She said yes to everyone who asked for a favor but didn’t have time to get her stuff done.Then things started falling apart financially…because she wasn’t getting things done. She kept getting sick, because of the stress, she slept too much, couldn’t sleep enough. None of it was her fault….but it was all her fault. Then the stress of the chaos really started taking a toll.
Finally, after weeks of trying to help when I could, I snapped. I think I even yelled at her and in the “I love you” kind of way.
“For the love of God, you have to take control of your life. Stop letting everything fall apart. Get a legal pad, make a list and get a grip. You have to say no to people, they will still love you, so you can focus on your own shit. Slow down and get it right.”
She didn’t talk to me for a couple of days then called and her voice sounded different. “Ok, here’s what I’m going to do.”
She managed to get the reins and take control of the horse. I was so happy and relieved I started crying.
Taking control of your life is ridiculously difficult. We have such fractured, frantic lives, it’s easy to loose control. We speed around corners at 140 miles an hour and if we shift focus or tap the steering wheel with our pinky finger, our car explodes, we are air borne, slam into the wall and explode like a grenade.
Today my dear friend said “no” when asked if she could help on a project this Saturday. She said she had to take care of her own stuff. My buddy has a list and a legal pad and a plan. I think she’s going to be just fine.