I recently read a blog entitled “Why Our Sons Wear Pink”. A mom explained why she encourages her sons to be sensitive and gentle. She thinks people like boys who are rough and jock like. But I think things are going in the opposite direction.
A lot of folks get mad because little boys act like little boys. They are too rough, too tough and too violent. And it’s not politically correct.
But boys are boys and girls are girls. We don’t get mad at little girls for being too “girly” . We don’t get mad at girls for wearing pink and taking care of their baby dolls. We don’t fuss at them for being too sweet or too nurturing.
But boys take a beating for being too aggressive and too violent, for pretending to shoot things and beat up dudes. I love it when my nine year old plays in his room, when he draws and listens to music. But i try to be patient when he’s a screaming, hollering crazy guy running around in the yard with his bb gun and jumping off the playhouse onto the trampoline with a foam sword.
I’m the first parent to jump into a hot messy situation about a kid that’s a bully or too aggressive. When that happens I start calling parents and principals. I hang out on the playground. And I don’t let my kids play violent video games.
But boys and men were were made to be hunters and protectors. Girls were designed to take care of their young. Sometimes the boys have to take care of the babies and the girls have to go hunt down dinner, so a person who can do both is invaluable. But for the most part that’s how humans were designed. Seahorses and birds are different but we are humans. (I know I break the rules I’m reciting…I’ve been involved in Martial Arts for years and love boxing, but taking care of my kids is the most important thing I do.)
I agree we have to encourage our boys to be sensitive and compassionate. We must teach them to respect everybody, not just the alpha males. Parents need to encourage boys to appreciate the arts, music and literature. But as a society we need to stop blasting our boys for being boys.
My oldest son, Jack is 24 years old. When he was born I was a very tan hippie chick who hated guns. I wouldn’t let Jack play with guns…ever. So the boy turned everything, from Legos to bannanas, into a gun. My daughter, Mary, who is 16 months younger had absolutely no use or interest in guns.
Parents, this is on you, insist and encourage you boys be respectful and kind but don’t beat them up if they want to sword fight, wrestle, and hunt down bad guys. Let those boys be boys.
*Important Note: If your child is gay, understand God made him that way and love him just the way he is. If you’re child is mean or a bully make him stop and don’t make excuses. Don’t use the line “he’s just being a boy” if he’s actually an obnoxious punk.
Tell me what you think, comment or write to me! Thanks, diana
Most people punish girls for being mean, treating other people bad and (while younger) for fighting others too.
It is not like girls would be sweat and nurturing all the time from the get go. I would even say, that girls can be more cruel among themselves than boys. Especially during teen age.
Thanks for responding. I agree girls can be crazy mean, and they say the stuff that really really hurts.
Do you care if I quote your article in my monthly newsletter? I would think this article suits my topic perfectly. Uhmmm, thanks for posting this.
I LOVE this post. My boy is the second youngest; at first it was soooo different raising a boy. He’s a ton of fun, just totally boy :0)
Some of my friends who only have girls, well, they just don’t understand it yet. I hope they will someday.