I Have To Stop Bashing Canada…I Guess

Yesterday I found a cool Canadian website but I hate Canada and I’m not sure I can use it. For years my family called Canada…”Can’t A Da”. As in “You can’t go to Canada.”

We said this because a few Thanksgivings ago one of my wonderful children looked at me during dinner and said, “I’m leaving college and moving to Canada to be with Billy.”

This child had a huge scholarship and Billy was an idiot, loser, semi-pro hockey player who’s email was “toker69”. mys child had been wonderful and nearly perfect up until that moment but they were “in love.”

She did exactly what she promised and it took us a year to get her back (by the way she’s awesome and brilliant now).

And that’s why we all do a great deal of Canada-Bashing in my house. I know it’s our “neighbor to the North” and America and Canada generally get along but not me. I hate the whole cold country.

But now I have a problem. I found a website with ipod touch deals and I really need a new Ipod.  I have one of the little pink shuffles that holds 200 songs and clips to my tee-shirt.  That sounds like a lot of songs but I run all the time and I just can’t listen to “Let’s Get Retarded In Here, the Jackson 5’s ABC and Miranda Lambert’s Gun Powder and Lead any more.  I NEED A BIGGER IPOD.  My kids all have huge ones that hold millions of songs. Not me. So I’ve been whining and bitching a lot lately about my tiny little i-pod.

Will I order one?…humm…I don’t know. Canada is beautiful and those guys do make some great beer. Maybe I can do it. But I do want to say to Billy, the semi-pro hockey player  aka ‘toker69” who tried to steal my child. You’re still an idiot.  I win and you lose.