My son had a friend over to spend the night. I heard him say, “Come on, let’s play ninjas,” then “come on, let’s build a fort,” then “Come on. Let’s watch Adventure Time.” The next time I heard Sandor say “come on,” I said, “Son, let Sam pick.”
Sam was obviously surprised by his new found power, “Can we play with your legos or ride the 4-wheeler.”
“Sure,” Sandor said then the two boys disappeared into his room. I realized I haven’t been enforcing and reinforcing the all important “Guest Rule”.
WHEN YOU HAVE COMPANY OVER THEY GET TO GO FIRST AND THEY GET TO PICK (MOST OF THE TIME).
After the boys played with the legos for a while i called them into the kitchen. “Ok, Sam, what do you want for lunch, sandwich or mack and cheese.”
Sam, who is tiny and beautiful gave me a gorgeous grin. the kid has perfect teeth. “Mack and cheese! Man, I like this rule of your mom’s”
Generally my biggest rule is the one about computer games and television. The guys only get those for thirty minutes at a time but I think the guest rule might be even more important because it teaches old school civility. I worry that good manners have nearly become extinct.
An Indian friend of mine recently told he he worries about his daughters becoming too Americanized. When I asked him what he meant he said he had found most American teens to be rude and inconsiderate when they came to his house and he said they were extremely disrespectful to their own parents.
While I don’t think the problem around here is as dire as he described, it reminded me the importantce of teaching my own kids to be repectful and polite. If I don’t, nobody else will.
Thank you very much.
I remember the guest rule from when I was a child. I don’t practice it with my kids but I think I should start now that they are getting to have friends come over.
The poor kids, the rules expand and morph every day. And now my older children insist I use the same set of rules on the younger brother and sister. when they were growing up if they said the word stupid they had to suck their thumb. I’d forgotten that untill my youngest son said stupid at dinner and everybody went crazy. And then he put that filthy digit in his mouth.
Diana,
I stumbled on your site by accident while looking for videos or explanations for the term “rotary jogging”. I was told of this by a friend and still don’t know what it is. Reguardless, I read one of your stories, and then read them all,so instead of writing a lot of little replies I am writing this big one. I teach Isshinryu karate and escrima in Tyler,Tx. and I want to say one thing to you. If you are ever near Tyler or Winnsboro, where I live, let me know. I want my students to meet you and both your kids too.And although none of us are well off either, we will put you up with one of us for the night if needed. My wife and I would both enjoy meeting you and yours and taking you all out to eat. And I will personally hold the door open for all of you.
Sensei Charles Adams
That’s the most gracious and generous comment I’ve ever recieved on my blog. Thank you so much. Sometimes we do venture into Texas for tournaments and training. I’ll keep you invite in mind. My e-mail is hampoland@gmail.com and we all train at Fountain Lake Martial Arts, you can find us on Facebook. And rotary jogging is pretty simple, just jog sideways without allowing your feet to cross. It helps reinforce lateral movement.
Please keep in touch, Diana