The Rules Of Friendship

There are some basic rules of friendship but I’m convinced most people don’t understand them.

The whole point of having a friend is pretty simple. Friends generally make you feel better about yourself and your life. Friends make you laugh at yourself and your life. Friends tell you there’s black stuff on your tooth, but they don’t feel the need to yell it across the table.

Good friends don’t constantly have to outshine you. Sandor has a buddy and every time he’s in the car and I say something like “I’m so proud, Sandor made a 95 in spelling,” he’ll say something like “I always make 100s.”

What a jerk face that 8 year old is. I know, it’s insecurity that makes kids say stuff like that; it’s insecurity that makes them feel they have to put down other people inorder to rise to the top. But it sucks and personally, if I was still in school, I’d rather jump on the trampoline alone than play with someone who constantly puts me down. Life is tough enough without the added burden of mean friends.

And then there are the friends who think everything is lame or stupid if they aren’t a part of it. Oh my Lord. That drives me crazy. Friends are supposed to be supportive, damn it. If the coach kick you off the football team for smoking crack you shouldn’t start making fun of everyone who’s still on the team. That just makes you look pathetic you silly crack-head.

Ok, so here’s the bottom line. If you want to be my friend you have to be reasonably nice, you have to tell me when there’s stuff stuck in my teeth and since it’s summer time you need to have a boat or pool to be my friend.  It’ll be fun.