Black Guys Are Cooler

Why is it black guys can wear anything and look cool? This morning Jack and I were looking at a picture of Kanye West in concert and he had on what looked like a 1978 Adidas track jacket and some funky, not matching pants. And he looked cool. If I see a 30 year old white man wearing white bitch goggles, I’d roll my eyes. Jerk. Kanye, on the other hand, wears bitch goggles and he looks smokin’.

If any white man I know put on that outfit he would look like a library hobo.  

Flavor Flav puts a stupid ass helmet with horns on and wears a giant clock necklace and hot women are lining up to lick his scrunched up face. My husband, Alex, is the same age as Flavor, and if came home in Mr. Flav’s viking hat, I would not lick his face, I doubt I’d even kiss him, we’d probably  make him sit outside, in his truck, until he changed and then we’d use the helmet as a fruit bowl.

 Seriously, if any white man tried to sing on stage with a massive plastic clock and goofy golden crown, I don’t think  it would work, in any musical genre, Michael Buble to Bruno Mars. In the 70s and 80s, Elton John almost matched Flavor Flav’s volcanic silly style but his flamboyant outfits had more to do with fashion and being gay.  But for some bizarre reason we like Flavor Flav dressed like a super stone court jester.  He looks kinda cool.

This ability to look cool in anyoutfit isn’t limited to celebrities.  If a ten year old black kid shows up at school wearing a plaid shirt buttoned all the way up and a pair of kakies he looks cutting-edge- awesome. If I see a white kid with the same outfit walking down the hall I have to fight the urge to mess up his hair and unbutton his shirt so he won’t look like a dweeb and get beat up in the bathroom.

Aparently, I’m a reverse racist. I’m a fashion racist.But I’m right.