Dolphin and Whale Week at Hampoland Why Don’t They Use Those Big Brains?

I spent most of my twenties worshiping marine mammals. I volunteered at various dolphin facilities, spent hours cutting up fish for dolphin, helping with stranded whales and worrying about sea turtles (I know they are not marine mammals). I loved all things ocean, especially dolphins and whales.

But I’ve become increasingly concerned and confused by the inexplicable actions of some dolphins and whales and my feeling about these lovely sea creatures.

I totally understand why Orcas sometimes kill their trainers. that makes perfect sense to me. What befuddles me are the stupid whales. On average a whale can stay underwater for 45 minutes to an hour. They can dive thousands of feet under water and most whales can swim 20 to 30 miles an hour.  Whales also reportedly have terrific memories.

So, why is is it, when they see a ship full of humans, specifically a whaling vessel, a boat that floats around the ocean killing hundreds of their friends and neighbors, they don’t dive underwater and swim away.  Man has been killing whales for hundreds of years, why don’t they stay away from us. Other animals seem to know or understand that humans are often times evil so they get the hell away from us.  Why don’t dolphins and whales, possibly the most intelligent creatures on earth, do what idiot deer do during hunting season?  RUN AWAY!

Dolphins are even worse.  Every year there is a dolphin slaughter in the same Japanese cove. Thousands of dolphins are killed, EVERY YEAR.  The ocean turns red with their blood.  So, my question is, why do they go to that cove ever single freaking year? Stop going there, it’s a bad place, tell your dolphin buddies to swim away.

If there was an Exxon station and every time I stopped there for gas a member of my family was butchered…I wouldn’t go there for gas…ever. And I think even my youngest children, even the 2 and 3 year olds would figure out pretty quickly, “stay the hell away from the Exxon station, somebody gets wacked every time we go there. Even if they have candy and Cheetos, don’t stop.”

I still love dolphins and whales. And I would give anyting to relive my days of sitting on a dock in the Florida Keys with my feet in the warm water while a couple of deliciously smooth dolphins swam under the soles of my feet, they allowed me to run my feet from their blowhole to their fluke. I still get goose bumps thinking about how good that felt. But I have to wonder about their practical memory. Guys, Captain Ahab has mental problems, he uses whale blubber in his lamps. You’ve got to start swimming away.