I bought a trashy magazine yesterday. Yes, I spent almost five bucks on the new Cosmopolitan because the cover said “BAD GIRL SEX, and 75 NAUGHTY MOVES TO TRY ON A MAN (I hate the word naughty). And HAIR, HOW TO GET MEGA VOLUME. But I don’t feel guilty at all.
I only buy a bad magazine once or twice a year and the twenty minutes of absolute silly pleasure is worth the five dollars. I know this issue is almost identical to the one I bought six months ago with information like, “kiss him here,” and “say this to him while he’s in the shower.” It’s all the same but it’s still really silly fun.
I admit, much like Playboy Magazine and men, I never actually read the articles or stories, I just look at the pictures, read a few of the “super hot make out tips”, make fun of the models then throw it away. That’s what it’s for, right? What would Alex do if I changed my “kissing style” after twenty years of marriage? I’m thinking he’d probably start laughing at me and thump my on the forhead. (I can hear my children saying “eeewww, Mom!” right now because there’s nothing worse than thinking about old people kissing).
The strange thing is I remember when I was in my teens and twenties and Cosmo seemed so edgy and dangerous. Every month I dove in like a jacked up junkie. But now, the stories and confessions don’t seem so shocking, just funny. I guess ten years of living in the Florida Keys really does change your perspective.
Unfortunately, I do have to keep the Cosmo face down because Sandor, at age 8, is now old enough to read the cover and I don’t want to hear him say, “Mom, what’s this mean? GREAT GUY LAME SEX? I don’t get it.”
So, if you have a family, maybe it’s best to keep your glossy trashy magazine in the car. Read it while you are waiting to pick up the kids then shove it under your seat. Some things a woman really does need to keep to herself.