Damn Bananas and Canned Corn

This afternoon we had to go to the store and buy $150 worth of groceries because it MIGHT snow tomorrow. We now have enough food to last two weeks. Bring on the blizzard.

But every time I buy groceries I realize there’s something wrong with the process.

When I buy my massive treasure chest of groceries on Saturday I touch each product a total of six times before I can sit down and have a beer. That’s right, six times…here’s how it goes.

1. I pick up the bunch of bananas and put them in the basket.

2. I take the banannass out of the basket and put them on the conveyor belt.

3. I put the sack with the bannanas back in basket and roll the basket to the car.

4. I put the bag with the bannanas in the car and drive home.

5. Once I get home I pick up the bag with the bananas and carry it in the house.

6. I take the stupid banannas out of the bag and put them on the counter.

By the time I’m home I’m so freakin’ sick of my groceries and especially the banannas I don’t eat them, instead they get black and gross on the counter until I throw them away. There are days I don’t touch my dog six times, why would I want to grab the same damn can of corn so much?

This is a serious situation but I don’t know how to fix the problem or who I should blame for the mess. So maybe, after the President figures out how to get us out of Afganastan, what’s going on with the dead birds falling out of the sky in Beebe, the garbage problem in New York and global warming, he’ll address this annoying grocerie issue.

By the time I eat my food I hate it. Damn banannas.