Giant Shiny Bras At Walmart…Another Sign of Obesity

I’m going to lay it right out here, breasts in America are getting bigger. And I feel fairly certain it’s because we are all getting fatter.  Breasts are made of fat, so when a woman gains ten pounds her boobs get bigger.  Any woman will validate this fact.

But here’s more evidence of swelling boobage. I went shopping a couple of days ago and found myself surround by rows and rows of giant bras. I’m talking about massive bras with cups bigger than my son’s head.

I have pretty big boobs and have worn a 36 or 38 D for most of my life.  When I was a teenager they were considered gigantic, freakish, worthy of lengthy conversatons. Today that’s not the case, because so many women have boobs much much bigger and they lt them hang out there…all the time. Twenty years ago finding a bra that size was really hard and they were all ugly granny bras.  As a teenager I was sure all the bigger  bras had been designed by structural engineers and Baptist ministers. They might as well have been cut from burlap.  And the strap across the back was at least three inches, there’s no way that looked sexy.It was terrible.

Additionally, (as though buying a really hideous looking big bra when you are 15 isn’t bad enough),  most stores in the 70’s 80’s put the big bras on the lowest rack. So we had to search for our big ugly bras on our knees. Its no wonder I never wanted to go shopping.

Now, stores are filled with hundreds of glorious looking giant bras, shiny and sparkly and hot looking, even if you have boobies the size of basket balls.  And lots of bras big enough to hold three puppies are even kept at eye level because big boobs are the norm.

What does all this mean? Well, I’m really worried about the obesity rate in America , but I know there are a lot of “breast Men” in the world who love the new big ta-ta norm. So, at least for those guys the future is looking magnificent.

****If you want to read more about men and their evolutionary feelings about breasts this is a pretty interesting site.

#This is a re-written reprint because I went shopping again today and the bras were bigger and even prettier. Lucky me 🙂

6 thoughts on “Giant Shiny Bras At Walmart…Another Sign of Obesity”

  1. I love the shiny bras! I own over twenty in pink and blue, sparkly and shiny, silky and lacy. Even my sports bras have polka dots. Its probably not good or healthy, but putting on pretty lacy things first thing in the morning can really help you wake up. So i’m raising a glass to the plastic manikins with giant breasts. I’m celebrating Victory for making her secret all about being well proportioned chubby and i’m thanking god that my bras are now always at the very top racks.

  2. As an avowed thigh and leg guy I certainly applaud the efforts to dress ‘the girls’ up in more fashionable bras. Who doesn’t appreciate better wrapping. From the woman’s perspective, being able to wear something nicer has to have its rewards too (shades of Maria from West side Story come to mind, “I fell pretty, oh so pretty, and witty and gay”……).

    Just looking back at women walking from casino to casino in Vegas over the last 20 years it is amazing how much more emphasis is put on breasts nowadays, so much so, that I have almost made the conversion from being a thigh guy to a breast guy – but not quite. ‘Hooters Bar’ was never appealing, and when my daughter got to be the age of the servers it just became to twisted for my simple mind to go there anymore.

    Great decolletage however, has always been in favor among the testosterone set. If nothing else it is great for getting us flustered and making us breathe faster at the very sight. I honestly hope that a good set of ‘sisters’ can get me to that stage well into my 80’s. Just sorry it has been so difficult for you all to do these past couple centuries, notwithstanding the continued source of income to engineers and Baptist ministers.

    As for the merchandising – I hope they still put the larger ones down low. Looking at a woman of lesser endowment bend over is not esthetically or sexually appealing what-so-ever. But because of your reference herein I’m going to make it a point to visit to a store in the next few days to investigate. Hey, this may be “Funnerer” than I had imagined.

    Anyway, who needs the skinny under endowed women. I have always believed a woman who has not skipped desert, maybe had just another bottle of Margeaux, or is no stranger to beef is much more beautiful (think Golden Section or Divine Proportion) – they generally seem to have better personalities too.

    So bring on the bigger, better and more delicately displayed sweater kittens and all that foes along with them.

  3. Well, what a situation. If the boobs are getting bigger, and the woman is getting bigger, are the boobs really getting bigger. There’s some sort of relativity thing there (or is that for nuclear bombs?). But I guess you probably didn’t mean for me to focus on the boobs. Oh well.

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