Pretty Girl, Love Your Instagram Face!

This morning I was putting on makeup. I’ve always been bothered by my chin. When I smile,  my chin leans to the right.  My mom pointed this out to me lots of times when I was little so it always bugged me.

I yelled at my 17 year old son, Sandor, “Hey, have you ever noticed that my face is crooked when I smile?” He’s been looking at my face all my life.

“What are you talking about?” he asked

I walked into his room and grinned at him, hard. He was still in bed, not wanting to get up for school.
“Look! See how my chin goes to the right. And look at these lines. My face is jacked.”

Sandor studied my face for a long time. Maybe 30 seconds. He’s been looking at my face since the day he was born. I’m his mother. “I guess I can see it, but I never noticed. That’s weird.”

He had never noticed this thing, with my face. But I’ve been seeing it for 50 years, because my mom pointed it out when I was a little kid.

Oddly enough, my mom, who was a brilliant amazing women, also pointed out when I was seven or eight that my ears kind of poked out a lot and I had thin hair. Big ears and thin hair.  Mom was constantly trying to figure out how to cover up my ears for church.( I think that’s why I wasn’t in any of the fancy family photos back then.) One day she asked if I would would like to have a little surgery for ear pinning, so they wouldn’t stick out so much. Who asks an 8 year old about plastic surgery?

Lots of times as we ate dinner as a family when I was a little my dad would cheerfully say “Don’t make the girl clean her plate, the fat ones are hard to get married off.” It was a joke. But I still remember it, still quote him. It sank down into my brain, but he was just kidding.

I’ve always had a strong nose, It’s a family nose. Strong. When I was seven or nine my Grandmother, Bubba, who was born in 1895, suggested when we watched tv together I wrap my fist around my nose. So, it wouldn’t grow so much. She had been reading about the Chinese women who wrapped their feet to keep them from getting too big. It was logical. She was trying to help me be more beautiful.

So, I held my nose in my fist, as I watched the Brady Bunch and H.R. Puffinstuff. For 8 year old me, that made sense. My nose was too big and they were trying to help. They loved me.

Now, flash forward 50 years latter. I still kind of hate my face and avoid pictures. But I like my face too. I never knew why but yeah, it’s pretty obvious. But my family loved me and meant well, truly.

But the 60’s were hell, especially for an affluent little girl who was supposed to look “a certain way.”

Young women….you will never younger or prettier than you are right now. Stop hating on your self and your beautiful face. You are 35 right now and so gorgeous, still you think you are ugly, need more work. How will you survive when you are 50? Good God love yourself. Nobody notices your funny chin….except for you. Seriously.

 

Thankfully, my four children are fine and golden and beautiful. Yes, each have quirks and  unique physical features.  But they are all four are perfect.

Parents, please please be cautious. The comments you make now will haunt your children for years and years.

Your Stupid Head

Dear People,

This week I think I recognized one of the puzzle pieces for “happiness.”

GET OUT OF YOUR OWN HEAD! Thinking about your self, your feelings, your lack of interest…all of that leads to sadness, disappointment and gloom.

Stop watching Netflix and wondering why your not happy. Stop staring at your phone and thinking about how sad you are. Put on some real pants (not pajama pants) and freaking do something, do anything!
Ideas for things you, a human, can do that might help get you out of your own head.

1. Lie down in the grass and look up at the sky. (it’s been a while, right?)
2. Put on some boxing gloves and punch something.
3.Go for a walk, maybe down town, or a hike and don’t let your self look at your phone for 30 minutes. Don’t even take a picture and surreptitiously check your text messages.
4, Volunteer somewhere. That’s maybe the best for “getting out of your own head” cause it’s hard to feel sorry for yourself when you are helping someone with less, a lot less. Worry about someone else instead of yourself for a hour.
5. Fill up some water balloons and throw them at someone or something, even if it’s just the side of your house or your car. (Then please pick up the rubber balloons off the ground. They are bad for the environment.)
6. Ride a bike. Sure, it’s been years and years but you can do it and there is joy in bike riding. There’s even a place in downtown Hot Springs that rents bikes for ten bucks an hour. (fancy bikes or bikes with no gears just a bell and a basket) And you can ride around where it’s flat and there aren’t any traffic lights. Check out Hot Springs Bicycle Touring. https://www.facebook.com/HotSpringsBicycleTouringCompany/
7. Dance, do a somersault, eat some watermelon.

I don’t know a lot but I do know sitting at home thinking about your self rarely leads to a full and exciting life. So stop it. Life is pretty good once you get outside your head.

The Things We Do For Love

This morning I woke up before everyone else to get ready for work. I noticed the tv in the living room was on but muted. We have three tv clickers and I HATE them all. For years Sandor and Alex have tried to teach me how to turn the tv on and off, get to Netflix, watch a dvd but it’s just too much for me (Insert “Ok Boomer joke here).

On mornings when I actually want to watch the news I’ve had meltdowns simply trying to turn on the news.

So, most mornings Alex leaves the tv on for me, already on my news station. That’s love.

My parents Ann Stell and Irven fell in love in 3rd grade at Jones School. The Great Depression had the country on its’ knees. My mom’s father was a surgeon so they were still in pretty good shape financially. But my dad’s father was an architect. Nobody needs an architect in a depression. Times were fairly desperate for the McDaniel family.

Spoiled, Ann Stell knew she would always get everything on her Christmas list. So, for years she asked Santa for building materials, Erector Sets, Tinker Toys, slide rulers, drawing supplies and model airplanes. Then she would invite my dad over to play. As the story goes, he’d sit on the floor happily building while she sat on the couch reading.

Now, my daughter Mary does the same thing for her husband Andy. For weeks before Christmas she sends me links to things for Andy. Tools, sweaters, office supplies. Pride be damned. Mary wants Andy to have everything! That’s love.

Two years ago Alex spent too much money on some perfume that I absolutely hated. It smelled like granny perfume. But I lied. And every morning before I went to work, I stood in our dark bedroom, while Alex slept, and I squirted the perfume into the air…away from me. I wanted Alex to wake up, smell the perfume and think, “Oh Diana put on her perfume this morning.” I love him .

This year, I hope you are all loved, simply and honestly, by a friend, a child, a cousin or husband. And I hope you give your love freely, in return.