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Posts Tagged ‘sexting’

How Teen Sexting Starts….Yup, They Told Me The Truth

sextingDear Parents, the code has been broken.  One of Lexie’s friends recently explained to me exactly how teen age sexting with pictures starts.

As parents when we hear that a teenaged girl is in a pickel because she sent a picture of her boobs to a boy we sigh and groan and say ‘what the hell was she thinking, how could this happen?” Well, now I know.

It goes something like this and according to my 15 year old informant the script doesn’t vary much.

Girl and boy are flirting via text.

Guy: “I’m just lying here watching tv. I wish you were here.”

Girl: “Me too”.

Guy: “I’m  sore from lifting weights. But look at this”. Then he sends a picture of himself with his shirt off looking all ripped.

Girl: “Nice lol”

Guy: “You should send me a picture”.

Girls sends a picture of her pretty face.

Guy: “That’s not fair. Send me a good picture.”

And then…if the girl is stupid(that’s how teenager put it)…she sends him a picture of her boobs or maybe she’s wearing a bra. If she’s smart she laughs at him and says something like “No way.”

Then the teenager and Lexie and I discussed the next thing that happens. Both the boy and girl take their phones to school. The girl shows other girls the picture of the guys muscular chest, everybody comments and it’s not that big of a deal.

And the guy does the same thing. He shows all his friends, team mates and acquaintances, even his little brother and uncle,  the picture of the girl without her shirt. And it’s a very big deal because he promised he wouldn’t show anyone.

A friend of mine who is a fifty year old business man told me his sixteen year old son and two best friends were looking at a picture of a girl on their phone. then they handed it to my middle aged friend. He looked, of course, then deleted it andyelled at the boys. But he looked, because he’s a guy.

So girls, think about that.  They boy might show it to his dad. And if his dad is a total perv and ass he might not delete it.  When you send that picture of your boobs, lots and lots of people will probably see it.

As parents I think we have a few options.  We can pull our children out of school and keep them at home for the next ten years.

We can take away their phones or at least give them phones without cameras. Or, we can warn our daughters that this is how the situation almost always unfolds.  The boy will show everybody the pictures on his phone because he’s proud of them and thinks their hot. It doesn’t make him a bad guy, it just makes him a normal guy.

After I learned all this from the 15 year old I called one of my older, 20 something kids.  I started explaining how all the teenaged sexting starts and was interrupted when they laughed and said,  “Mom, I know how it starts.”

Ouch!  And I made a mental note. “Never ever pick up older childs’ phone and casually glance at the photos without permission.”

*Names have not been included to protect the innocent and guilty.

Eating While Texting…That’s Dangerous!

Of course driving and texting is a deadly combination. But texting tragedies don’t just happen on our highways and dirt roads.

We are  surrounded by texting fools who are putting us all in harms way! And sometimes we are the fools.

Last week I made the mistake of trying to text with my left hand while I was eating a salad with my right. I stabbed myself in the face with a fork. Not only was it embarrassing, it really hurt and I got Ranch Dressing all over my shirt.

We must all be careful in Wal-Mart and K-Mart now. Crazy kids and soccer moms stare at their phones, texting their bffs and moving like zombies. They inadvertently run over old ladies and small children. They are so engrossed in their texting they don’t even feel the cart as it bumps over the flailing arms and legs.

And of course the newest danger in the gym…idiots who try texting while running on the treadmill. Runners loose their balance and footing while texting “LOL” to their super hot girlfriend. In a split second tragedy strikes. Runner Dude flies off the back of the treadmill. New Balance running shoes sail across the room and hit the people on the elliptical. His phone crashes to the floor, the battery pops out and all communication is lost.

Texting is a serious threat to us all. It’s a cruel world so be careful out there.

Talk to me!  leave a comment or e-mail me at hampoland@gmail.com, just don’t text me. I care about you too much for that.

Parents! I Learned How Sexting Starts!

Yup, the code has been broken.  One of Lexie’s friends recently explained to me exactly how teenaged sexting with pictures starts.

 As parents when we hear that a teenaged girl is in a pickel because she sent a picture of her boobs to a boy we sigh and groan and say ‘what the hell was she thinking, how could this happen?” Well, now I know.

It goes something like this and according to my 15 year old informant the script doesn’t vary much.

Girl and boy are flirting via text.

Guy: “I’m just lying here watching tv. I wish you were here.”

Girl: “Me too”.

Guy: “I’m  sore from lifting weights. But look at this”. Then he sends a picture of himself with his shirt off looking all ripped.

Girl: “Nice lol”

Guy: “You should send me a picture”.

Girls sends a picture of her pretty face.

Guy: “That’s not fair. Send me a good picture.”

And then…if the girl is stupid(that’s how teenager put it)…she sends him a picture of her boobs. If she’s smart she laughs at hims and says something like “No way.”

And then the teenager and Lexie and I discussed the next thing that happens. Both the boy and girl take their phones to school. The girl shows other girls the picture of the guys muscular chest, everybody comments and it’s not that big of a deal. 

And the guy does the same thing. He shows all his friends, team mates and acquaintances, even his little brother and uncle,  the picture of the girl without her shirt. And it’s a very big deal because he promised he wouldn’t show anyone.

As parents I think we have a few options.  We can pull out children out of school and keep them at home for the next ten years.

We can take away their phones or at least give them phones without cameras. Or, we can warn our daughters that this is how the situation almost always unfolds.  The boy will show everybody the pictures on his phone because he’s proud of them and thinks their hot. It’s doesn’t make him a bad guy, it just makes him a normal guy.

After I learned all this from the 15 year old I called one of my older, 20 something kids (I’m not going to name).  I started explaining how all the teenaged sexting starts and was interrupted.  “Mom, I know how it starts.”

Ouch!  And I made a mental note. “Never ever pick up older childs’ phone and casually glance at the photos without permission.”

*Names have not been included to protect the innocent and guilty.

Sexting…Your Daughter Did What?

It’s all over the news, SEXTING.  It’s an epidemic, worse than swine flu or the black plague. All our children are spending hours, every day, sending each other naked pictures with their cell phones. When they should be reading To Kill A Mocking Bird or studying geometry they are actually standing around naked, with their cell phone in hand. When I think they are bowling and eating french fries, they are gazing provocatively at their phones wearing nothing but a pair of panties. According to NPR one out of six teens has sent naked or partially naked photos via their cell phone.”

I do need to make one point clear. Not all sexting involves pictures. Sometimes it’s just teasing and flirting via the cell phone.

‘DON’T DO IT, DON’T SEXT!’ Screaming that at my daughters and their friends, over and over and over probably won’t keep them from sexting.

Alex, my husband, thought we should take away her phone. But she has to have a phone so I can stalk her throughout the day.

Finally, I decided I was going to actually have to talk about this issue like a grown up.  Generally, when I take on a serious topics I like to have two or three kids at a time so they can form a “don’t smoke crack gang” or in this case a ‘no sexting gang’ . And the car is, of course, the perfect place for lectures becasue  they can’t escape.

I know  fear of legal repercussion doesn’t exists in the teen aged brain.  They drive too fast because they don’t think they will ever get caught by the police. They try the double back flip on the trampoline because they don’t think they will ever get hurt. And the kids who send naked pictures to all their friends believe no adult will ever see the photos. 

So, “It’s against the law”, will not be part of my lecture.

Here’s how the conversation  went with three cute 13/14 year old girls in the car.

“Ok , I’m about to give you really good reasons to never ever send naked, or half naked pictures of yourself to anybody, ever. Reason number one, I want you to imagine the grossest, most disgusting guy at school. Chances are he will end up with a copy of the picture on his phone. And here’s why. Your boy friend loves you now, but in six month when you break is heart he’s going to be mad. So, he’s going to send his best friend the picture of your boobs and say, ‘she sent me this on our one month anniversary”.  That friend never loved you and probably doesn’t even like you that much so he sends it to his friends on the track team.  And guess what, none of them will ever delete that picture. They will all be looking at the picture of your boobs for the next two or three years.

Reason two: All guys share pictures of naked girls. If a boy has a picture of a naked girl, he will show it to people. This doesn’t make him a bad guy, it just makes him a guy. Show and tell is part of their DNA.

And finally girls, I know a guy who has a seventeen year old son and everytime he gets hot pictures of girl, he shows them to his dad.” When I said that I got a round of ‘ooooh gross,’ from the back seat and I figured I’d made my point.

One of the real problems with sexting in high school is the simple fact that high school is a big fish bowl and you see the same people everyday for four years.

As a grown up if I do something embarrassing in front of people I can simply avoid most of them for the rest of my life. In high school you have to live with your mistakes until graduation.

In the end, the best thing you can do for your daughter is give her the information and facts needed to make the right decision, trust her judgment and wisdom…or make sure she never ever owns a cell phone with a camera.