Posts Tagged ‘dogs’

What Happens When You Treat Your Man Like A Dog?

I have a really good husband. We’ve been married for twenty or twenty two years.  We both always forget.  We also have two really wonderful dogs.

Aries is a German Shepard/Wolf hybrid.  I thought I was buying a simple female German Shepard. A fat man in a red corvette lied to me.

And then there’s Spots.  He’s a stocky white dog with weird brown spots.  He’s a pit bull mix that showed up in our yard, emaciated, with cigarette burns on his head.  I swore I would never have anything to do with a Pit Bull of any kind, but all this dog does is wag wag his branch like tail and he tries to make us happy.

Last night I was lying in bed watching a PBS show about barns in Arkansas.  Spots looked deep into my eyes and I started rubbing his silky ear.  “Look at those pretty spots on your ears. That one looks like an island, that one looks kinda like Cuba and that one looks like a water bottle. You have the prettiest spots, Spots.”

His club of a tail thumped heavily. He was in doggie heaven. So, he rolled on his back and snorted cheerfully.

A few minutes later Spots rolled over to stare at me again and I started rubbing his nose. Slowly, I ran my thumb down, between his eyes and I said, “You are so handsome.  Look at your weird eyes and think neck and sausage like tail.” In less than a minute he was asleep. So happy to be loved.

When was the last time I rubbed Alex’s ears?  I don’t think I ever have. Have I commented on his nose or ears lately….last week I told him I was going to trim his Eisenstein eyebrows or shave them off in his sleep. And what have I ever said about his tail? Maybe years ago.

You see where I’m going?  If we treated the people we love like the pets we love the world might be better.  Man, I would love it if Alex stroked my hair, scratched my neck or told me I was so beautiful and sweet, even though my breath smelled like roadkill.

I need to rethink good behavior, bad behavior and our reward system.

Sure, Spots and Aries give me unconditional love. But so does Alex.



Dogs Hate Cabbage…and Cauliflower and Mushrooms

dogs really like meat, like this girls hand

My dog, Theo, hates carrots. And he hates peas, green beans, apples, oranges, grapes, bananas, artichokes and squash. He’s a big dog and he doesn’t care for fruits or vegetables. When I throw him a slice of kiwi, he catches it then instantly drops the chunk. He looks at me with watery brown eyes and says, ‘What the hell was that? It wasn’t meat, why did you throw that hunk of slime at my face?” Then, in disgust, he will take a nap.

Now, I’m not a vet or a pet specialist, I didn’t even stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night, but I believe my dog does not need fruits, veggies or grains in his dog food. He’s a freaking carnivore so why do pet food companies keep trying to convince me Theo needs corn and tomatoes? Why do guys dressed like chefs tell me Theo wants gourmet meals full of pasta and zucchini? I have a garden and the dog never goes near it, not even to pee.

I think the dog food companies are trying to sell me on Theo’s need for collard greens and rice because it’s a cheap filler. I think the dog food companies are trying to trick me and Theo. But we’re not falling for it. We know that fake chef with the tiny dog doesn’t know jack about Theo and his meaty needs.

Theo just told me he’ll never mess with my garden, but the cute bunny that keeps nibbling on the broccolli plant is looking a whole lot like breakfast.