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Posts Tagged ‘death’

A Beautiful Sad Day,,,,,

Cute fluffy white Havanese dog portrait

There is a beautiful and fluffy little designer dog who trots around my office building all week long. His name is Riley. Typically, he wears a scarf, he’s freshly groomed, has adorable brown eyes and endless lashes, and if you have food….Riley loves you.

I’ve known this little man for years. And he’s my best buddy only when I carry fast food into the radio station. Then he’ll sit up, staring at me lovingly, FOR HOURS, until I toss him a French fry or piece of beef. If I give him lettuce he doesn’t love me. If I don’t have food, Riley doesn’t even bother coming in my office. I bitch about Riley all the time because he’s shallow and not very loyal but he’s beautiful and smart.

Today, I learned this lovely little masterpiece of a dog has cancer and he only has a few weeks to live. Today, he walked around the building all day , but he looked so sad and tired and very thin. We can’t give him snacks now because he just throws up. Everybody in the office is sad. He is part of our family.

Two hours after the bad news about Riley, Renee, who I’ve worked with for years and years answered her cell. Something was wrong. She yelled, “Tell Neil my neighbor died and I’ve gotta go help.” Neal is our boss. Latter I learned an 80 year old neighbor served her 82 year old husband a cup of potato soup. He coughed and she thought he was choking. She found a napkin for her husband of 60 years. But he died right there in the dining room, not from chocking, it was just time.

The wife wouldn’t let go of her husband on the floor and the coroner had arrived. Renee sat on the floor for hours crying with her neighbor.

The truth is, and we all know this, everything that is born…dies. One hundred percent.

I don’t’ know if I told you this but when I was sixteen my Dad died suddenly of a heart attack. He was 52. A couple of weeks latter my brother Jack was killed. He was 24 and in college. At the time he was in love with a girl named Carrie and had three big fluffy dogs.

My mom was so heartbroken she killed herself a couple of years latter. Mom and Dad had been together since 3rd grade. It was just too hard for my mom to be without him.

I was mad at God for a while, sad and upset.  But he’s since given me a family that is unbelievably beautiful and magical.  My four kids really really love each other….all the time.  Nothing is better than that

Everyday things come and go. Dogs, cats, favorite restaurants, video stores, friends and family….they are suddenly gone. Trees get chopped down, houses burn up, books and lovely pieces of jewelry are lost. The guy who argues with you on Facebook but you actually think is clever…he’s gonna go too. So I’m trying to remember to love everything I love, every day. Even cute little dogs that beg too much.

Today take an extra minute to look at your dog, who chew up your patio furniture, the kid down the street who rides his bike in the middle of the street and doesn’t car that he’s in your way, the mean postal lady who gives you the stink eye but makes sure your packages are safe from the dogs.  Sitting through your kids two hour base ball game in the blazing hot sun (and he never gets to play) love those sights and sounds too. These are the things we all love, every day, kind of, love them twice because everything that comes….goes.

Everything that is born, no matter how cute or beautiful….dies. Love it all while you can. And please, remind me to do the same.

God Gave Me A Rock…Literally, A Rock

peaceI’m reprinting this story because I gave my rock to a friend yesterday.  She is the aunt of a seventeen year old boy who is struggling with all sorts of issues.  She wants to save him so she took her own sister to court to get custody.

When I walked into court I handed her my peace rock because it has the power to help in special situations.

Here’s the story of my peace rock. (And fyi, the aunt’s story had a happy ending.)

 

 

A little less than a year ago my brother, Granger, died. It was a pretty horrific and heartbreaking situation. Granger was my last living family member. That’s why I sometimes feel like the last creature from my herd; the last zebra with these stripes.

The day I got the phone call, telling me Granger wasn’t going to make it, I was hanging out with my kiddos, Lexie and Sandor, who was 8 at the time.  We were looking at some funky art in a  tiny gallery on Central Avenue.  When the phone rang I stepped outside to take the call.

I was told he might make the next 24 hours, but it was doubtful.  My big brother was going to die and leave me here, all alone.

My heart thumped with pain and I tried to breath evenly. I didn’t want to break down and wail in front of the kids.  It was really hot that day, almost a hundred degrees but I shivered in the sunshine and I prayed.

“Lord, please help me with this, please help me find some peace and strength to get through this. I don’t have much left. Just help me find some peace, Lord, because I don’t understand this.”

Peace and strength, that’s all I wanted. After I prayed I felt a little better. I took three giant breaths and willed myself not to cry then I walked back into the gallery to find the kids.

Lexie was looking at an abstract painting of a horse, or maybe it was a volcano. I took her hand, it was warm and dry and felt nice. For a moment I stared at the painting with her. “Where’s Sandor?”

“He went out back to play with Daniel and Ben.”

I nodded and decided I wouldn’t tell them about Granger until we got home.

I willed myself not to start crying as I walked to the galleries’ back door. Sandor and two other little boys were squating next to a pot- hole filled with black water.

“Come on Boy Boy,” I yelled. He popped up like a jack-in-the-box and ran to me.

“Look what I found, Mom.” He stuck his grubby hand in his pocket and waited for me to stretch out my hand. Then he placed a smooth river stone on my palm. “Look at it!” he said excitedly.

I unwrapped my fingers and stared at the grey rock. The word PEACE was etched into the surface. I looked at Sandor, who was grinning.”Where did you get this?”

He was bouncing just a little. “I found it in the puddle over there,” he said and pointed to the pot hole. “You can have it,” he said cheerfully than ran off to find Lexie.

Granger did die the next day. I kept that rock in my pocket for the next two weeks.  Now it stays in the cup holder in my car.  I rub when I need to and sometimes, when other people need a little Peace, I share my rock.

I’m pretty sure God and Granger would want me to pass the peace.

**You can comment or write to me at hampoland@gmail.com or find me on facebook. I always need more friends.

Whitney Houston Was Just A Singer

Set me on fire if you must, but it’s time to stop sobbing about Whitney Houston.

She was a performer, a singer with extraordinary pipes. But she did not change the cultural landscape of America. It is not the “end of an era” and this is not a “inexplicable or unprecedented  tragedy”. Hey, CNN  stop spending hours talking about the “death of an icon” and New Jersey sure as hell shouldn’t put the flags at half mast. It’s an absurd reaction.

Whitney Houston was a great singer who over dosed. So, why  are we acting as though the center piece of American entertainment died?

Michael Jackson, Elvis Presley, John Lennon, Chuck Berry(still alive), Ray Charles and Hank Williams, Cab Calloway, Patsy Cline even Jimi Hendrix were  geniuses who changed our cultural landscape.  Once they showed up, things were never the same.

 Those performers were more than Whitney Houston, they were more than singers. They brought fresh ideas and talents to the table. They changed the way we thought, they did things no one ever did before, their lyrics or riffs were brilliant and bright and awe inspiring.

Whitney did a great job with I Will Always Love you but guess what? Dolly Parton wrote it and I think did a better job singing it. 

I stopped watching the news for two days because I was so tired of hearing about Whitney’s funeral services and Bobby Browns bizarre behaviour.

Yes, she was a lovely singer. But,our world shouldn’t stop because she died. So hit the play button and lets move on to the next track. It’s time to dance.

* Tell me what you think. I really want to know. Leave a comment or email me at hampoland@gmail.com