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I Lost My Friend….To Gossip

graveyardLosing a friend, when you are an adult, is terrible, seriously something horrible, especially if you are a woman.  When you are a kid you have a gang, so losing one …plus or minus…is bad but it’s ok.

I lost a very dear and cherished friend about a year ago and I still ache. I have a million “friends” but very few (maybe two) friends I let into the inner circle of my family, that I trust with secrets and worries and concerns. And I only had one that I trusted with the truth about my life and my children and my family. Just one. Some people are blessed with a gaggle.

So, I found out one day because a loud mouth  twenty something chef said something like, “oh, your best friend said your daughter is a habitual liar, charming, but can’t be trusted.” When I asked my dear and beautiful friend she said yes, it was true.  Late at night, at a party and lots of beers she had made that kind of statement.

At first, I didn’t know what to do and I didn’t have anyone to talk to because she was gone.  I knew I could no longer trust her with my worries and concerns.  I knew I loved her so much I would always tell her the truth and share my life with her. So I had to “divorce” a friend I loved and needed so much.  It’s a friendly divorce, because I still lover her desperately and wish her well. But I can never trust again.

My husband is a dude. When he heard the story he was quick to say, “cut her off,” but he doesn’t seem to need friends.  Family is all he needs.  I needed her.

To this day I still don’t have any one like her. I don’t have a dear dear friend that I can trust one hundred percent.There is a gaping hole in my life and heart.She is lucky and lovely and has moved on and has lots of friends and pals and support.  We are different animals.

So, bottom line. If you have a friend, don’t take that for granted, especially if you are an adult. Cherish and protect that friendship.  Some of us are lucky and have a whole gang of grown up pals, some of us only have a select and coveted few.

Always take care.

 

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5 Responses to “I Lost My Friend….To Gossip”

  1. November 17th, 2015 at 3:33 am

    Sharon says:

    I love your stories. This one in particular really touched me. It’s an empty space that’s hard to fill. Like my favorite watering can sprung a big leak.
    Nothing seems to refill it to where it was.
    But really, reflecting, it’s not as empty as it was.

  2. November 17th, 2015 at 12:32 pm

    diana hampo says:

    I love the idea of a watering can with a big leak. You’re one hundred percent right. And you’re right, I am blessed in so many ways.

  3. November 17th, 2015 at 3:57 am

    Laurie says:

    The older we women are, the more we learn the meaning of true friendship. By the time I found the truest of friends, I only had her for a year when she died. Even though I didn’t lose my friend to any fault of her own, I will always find myself guarding my heart and feelings. When I look around and see pictures of all these women friends laughing and having dinner…I think I will remain content curled up on the couch with my dog. I am sorry this happened to you. Betrayal is a bitter pill to swallow.

  4. November 17th, 2015 at 12:30 pm

    diana hampo says:

    Dogs are good and don’t tell deep dark secrets. I hope you can open your heart again and let someone else in.

  5. November 17th, 2015 at 12:18 pm

    Mary says:

    But you’ll always have Team US