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Grossss……Your Kid Has Lice!!!

lice-comb-in-childs-head-of-hairLice, head lice. Just saying the words can give you the gross out willies. Lice are worse than cock roaches and rats for some…and a lot more embarrassing.

A couple of weeks ago I got the dreaded phone call from the mom of one of my son’s friends. Lice!  Sound the alarm…LICE! We went on lock down, washing sheets, spraying couches  shampooing and combing with that wretched little fine tooth comb that is the Scarlett Letter of lice. Comb comb, comb. Then tap, tap tap the comb in the sink and squint to see if any horrible little bugs are visible.  And if there’s one there’s going to be a million, hours of combing and probably tears of frustration and pain.

Even if my family is declared clean and lice free, the simple act of buying lice shampoo is humiliating. I’ll drive across the county so no one knows me in the store.  I wouldn’t want word to get around in our little town. I don’t feel that way when I buy mouse traps or bug spray.

Once, a few years ago we went through a horrible lice week.  There was a student in school who wouldn’t take care of the problem and kept re-infecting an entire 3rd grade class. The school couldn’t force them to fix the problem.  We took care of our family. We washed and combed and combed and combed. Then, that weekend decided to get hair cuts.  One of my children was ejected from Master Cuts cause I’d missed a few.  Hot tears of shame in the mall. To this day my child remembers that as one of the most embarrassing and humiliating moments in life. Screw You Master Cuts! (Not really. Who can blame them.)

My husband has a special problem.  If I have a sore throat he’s sure he has strep. If I have a headache, he has a migraine.  If I say the word “lice” he starts scratching and itching and picking.  During this recent episode I checked his head twice. Nothing. Still he had to give himself the entire treatment two times…and still he was itchy.

Good news for me. I believe my hair has been chemically altered for so long those little buggers couldn’t stay alive on my head.

If there’s a family out there who claims they’ve made it through 12 years of school without a lice episode. I’m gonna say you’re lying you just drove across the state line to buy the shampoo and comb.

Just writing this has me all creeped out.  I have to go now and have someone check my head.

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8 Responses to “Grossss……Your Kid Has Lice!!!”

  1. May 19th, 2014 at 4:49 pm

    Karen McDaniel says:

    Been there; done that. And now I have “the itch”! Thank you, Diana. Send me the comb, will you? 😉

  2. May 19th, 2014 at 7:00 pm

    diana hampo says:

    It’s crazy how just the thought can make you get kind of crazy.

  3. May 19th, 2014 at 5:02 pm

    Mary says:

    I was totally that child. Those mall cows were the worst! Later in my life they would make one of my eye brows never grow in quite right! Ugh hahaha it’s funny to think of that now

  4. May 19th, 2014 at 7:00 pm

    diana hampo says:

    that was the day we coined the phrase “Mall Cow”!

  5. May 20th, 2014 at 2:20 am

    Renee Westfall says:

    Every parent of a daycare kiddo or school kid has had that scare, and you go through all the precautions and combing as though the bugs had totally overwhelmed you. One thing I am grateful for with teens, it is just not that bad.

  6. May 20th, 2014 at 1:36 pm

    diana hampo says:

    Amen! so that’s the upside of teens.

  7. May 21st, 2014 at 5:25 pm

    Rita Payne says:

    I was in Miami over the summer and the hotel room I was in (for about an hour) was infested. I ran downstairs to the gym to tell the guys I was with and they instantly started scratching and pulling at their hair. I have to admit their instant hysteria gave me serious momentary giggles. We ended up throwing almost everything we had in the room away…pillows, blankets, jackets we had laying around. Nothing was safe…such an awful experience. What’s worse though is that when we told the hotel staff, they acted so nonchalantly like it was no big deal and happened all the time. Maybe it does in the hotel world, but I wish they had pretended it was urgent for my sanity and confidence in future hotel stays 🙁 ALWAYS check the covers in unfamiliar beds. Lesson from my Momma.

  8. May 22nd, 2014 at 1:00 am

    diana hampo says:

    Oh my Lord. That would be the worst. An infested hotel room. And once you start thinking about them you can’t stop!