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Life Sucks Less In A Lexus

lexusThis weekend a friend let me borrow her uber hot Lexus convertible so I could take the kids on a road trip to Dallas.  My car has 240,000 miles so I didn’t’ feel safe taking it.

Let me tell you something, life is better when you have money and a super fine car. I know money can’t buy me love, and money can’t buy me happiness but after driving around in a Lexus with less than ten thousand miles and a state of the art butt warming system, I know for a fact it comes pretty close.

The second I sat down behind the wheel I swear to you my hair was softer and more luxurious.

Music sounded sweeter because I had 120 satellite stations to choose from and better speakers. And I could change stations and turn up the volume with buttons on my steering wheel.  You know I do get exhausted reaching all the way over to the radio.

My children were less annoying on the trip because the Lexus has so many freaking usb/120 volt/AC/DC plug options they were able to talk, text, Instagram, facebook, watch movies and not listen to my MoTown station. You’re right,they missed most of the sights. Sandor didn’t see the long horn steer or cool rustic fences, he was too busy watching Jack Black in Gulliver’s Travels. And we didn’t’ have many meaningful conversations because they were “all plugged in”. But we still liked each other when we arrived at our Hampton Inn.

When I called my husband he sounded kind of sad, “you love it more than you love me, don’t you?”

“No! Not really.”

“You realize that car

Getting out of a Lexus, I was sure I looked casually sophisticated in my trench coat and jeans and other well-to-do folks smiled at me because I was in a Lexus and so were they.  It’s nice having new friends.

On the way down I got pulled over on I-30 for speeding by a state trooper.  It was the first time I’d been pulled over for speeding ins 20 years! I was going 82 in a 70 mph zone.  But that car wanted to go fast, it was so smooth, like chocolate pudding. And guess what? The State Trooper, with his enormous and intimidating hat, let me off with a warning.  I promise you….it was because of the car.

I know, money is the root of all evil and  can’t make me happy, but it tries so hard and comes so close. I don’t mind if it keeps practicing one me.

2 Responses to “Life Sucks Less In A Lexus”

  1. November 25th, 2013 at 3:31 pm

    Lora says:

    You crack me up. I am so glad you had a good time in Dallas and I am glad you enjoyed the ride…

  2. November 25th, 2013 at 5:03 pm

    Shelby says:

    HAHA! Love it!! Especially the part about your “softer, more luxurious hair”!! I’ve often thought, when reading interviews with celebrities that begin with “xxxxxx was elegantly attired in jeans, a white tee, and silver earrings” that MY own interviewer would be saying “can you believe she showed up in jeans and a teeshirt?!?”
    Congratulation on being one of the beautiful people ~