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Older Women Make Beautiful Lovers?

I was driving to Little Rock today and heard the TG Sheppard song, “Older Women Make Beautiful Lovers”. Gross, but I started singing along cause it’s a stupid catchy song. 

I was in the radio station pick up with lights and decals, I could sing old country songs. “Older women, they understand. I’ve been around some and I’ve discovered Older Women know just how to please a man.”  I was smiling because it’s so moronic and I knew ever word….I thought.

TG sang, “Every body wants those younger women. From eighteen on up to……………”

I sang thirty five, or was it thirty nine? But that’s not what TG Sheppard sang. He said, from “eighteen on up to twenty five…” WTF?

On up to twenty five. That’s the cut off for “younger women”?  I nearly drove into a ditch. Twenty six is an older woman for younger women? My world emploded. I needed to call my daughter Mary, who is 23 and tell her she’s almost an “older woman”.

Instead, I called my friend “Bob” who is fifty and has a wife who is twenty seven. “I’ve got bad news for you buddy. You don’t have a hot young wife. You’re married to an “older woman.”

Then I called my best friend who is my age and way way way past twenty five. “We’re so far past being older women we can’t even see the sign in our rear view mirror.”

She thought it was funny but I kind of wanted to cry because I have a birthday next week. In my mind I’m still a four or five. In TG Sheppard’s mind I’m charity. I’m a freaking two.

But wait. I’m in decent shape. I can kick most twenty four year old’s ass. Then I googled TG Sheppard.  Sure he had 14 top ten hits in the 70’s and 80’s but guess what? TG ‘Old Dude” Sheppard was born in 1944. Yeah baby.When was the last time he got a twenty two year old? He’s almost 70 years old.  Buddy you are a freaking t-rex and I’m still a 4.

Next time you get an “older woman” my age will be the highlight of your Classic Country Life.

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