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The New Bully Rules…I’m A Failure

I have a problem. We’ve started a new Anti-Bullying Program at my Taekwondo School. The big message is, “deal with the bully but don’t get physical! Ever!  Tell a teacher, tell a teacher, tell a teacher!”

I’ve been drilling it into the kids in class.

This week Sandor, who is in 4th grade, came home. He has a bully problem named Jose.  The boy has pushed  him twice as he walked past.

He’s called Sandor names.  In return Sandor has said something like ‘You’re just jealous cause I’m so awesome.”

Then Jose started saying, “your mom is so ugly.” (I thought Jose was my friend.)

Sandor talked to his dad about this issue.  Alex says, “You’ve got to take care of him. If he says a single word about your mom, take him out. I don’t care about the name calling but if he says anything about your mom or pushes you, take care of it.”

Sandor said, “You won’t be mad if I get in trouble?”

“Nope, just take care of it and then you guys will go back to being friends.”

Sandor is a black belt. He’s been kicking and punching for a long time. He knows what “take care of it” means.

So much for my anti bullying lectures.  When it’s your own kid all the rules are left like road-kill on the side of the road.

The thought of any kid bulling my child makes my eyes get all blurry. If I wasn’t sure he couldn’t handle the situation, if the kid was bigger, or scary, if Sandor wasn’t equiped to “handle the situation” I would have called the school in a heart beat.

But I’m trying to raise a strong, independent boy, who handles situations on his own.

Yeah, I’m a total hypocrite.

8 Responses to “The New Bully Rules…I’m A Failure”

  1. September 12th, 2012 at 10:08 pm

    Tracy Barrett says:

    Most of the time if you take care of the bully they stop in their tracks. Nobody likes the humiliation of running their mouth and someone shutting it for them. Usually takes one time and lesson learned. If someone lays hands on my child for no fault of his own I say kick ass and let the school or police dept. call me. That a whole new adventure on itself. Lol!

  2. September 13th, 2012 at 1:30 am

    diana hampo says:

    I don’t want to fight you, Tracy.

  3. September 12th, 2012 at 10:21 pm

    bobby teague says:

    I have taught taekwondo for many years, and my daughter has taken tkd since she was 5. She is 17 and never had to deal with bullys.. I believe that the self confidence that a kid has when they have been trained to protect themselves, usually is enough to make a bully look elsewhere. But the rule in my house has always been, if someone starts it, then she has the right to defend herself if she has no other alternative. If she gets suspended, then she has a nice little vacation.

  4. September 13th, 2012 at 1:29 am

    diana hampo says:

    Exactly, Mr. Teague. I agreed with my Husband and told Sandor he had his instructions.. When our oldest daughter(now 23) was an year old blue belt two guys tried to get her in a truck. She bowed up on them, fighting stance, and they took off. She was going to be more trouble than they needed.

  5. September 13th, 2012 at 3:55 am

    Julie Hudgens says:

    My Daddy always told me “You better not EVER start a fight. But if someone starts one with you, You dang sure better finish it!” Get him Sandor! 🙂

  6. September 13th, 2012 at 3:56 am

    diana hampo says:

    yeah baby. and keep you hands up. Actually in 4th grade the first shot generally ends it. Kids these days….can’t take a punch

  7. September 13th, 2012 at 1:13 pm

    Tracy Barrett says:

    I’ve been behind your punching pads a time or two. I’m not the scary one! Lol!

  8. September 13th, 2012 at 1:15 pm

    Jimmy Livengood says:

    I remember back when I was in school I got bullied all the time. From grade school to high school it was nonstop. As the only Asian-American in the school during that time, I got called chink, slant eyes, chinaman, etc. So I know what it feels like to get bullied. I tell my son to tell the teacher if someone messes with him and then tell me. If the teacher doesn’t do anything then tell the principal. I wll then call the school myself.If it continues, then I told him to take knock his butt out. If the school suspends him, then the school will have a problem with me. I could go on and on but I’m trying to keep it short.