HampoLand

rainbow

The Hampoland Cash Cow…Mooo

  I need some money. I always need money, I guess everybody does. But the truth is if a cash cow suddenly showed up in my yard (because I have such lovely grass) I’d spend it on silly fun junk. Isn’t that sad? And that probably explains why I’m not set up for retirement.

So, I was reading abut the cash store and their title loans. According to their website they could drop $25,000 on me today. And what would I buy with my money from the title loans?

FIRST THING a big ass Mumba ski boat with giant speakers for me and the kids. I would learn to ski again(I used to be pretty good) and wake board and knee board and I would be the “baddest” 50 year old woman, in in one piece swimming suit, on the lake.

Second thing I’d spend my title loans money on ….I’d …take a big messy, gross vacation on one of those absurdly oppulant crusie ships. I want one with the rock climbing wall and fake waves so I can learn to surf on my way to Hawaii. Again, the one piece swimming suit will be very useful.

This imaginary 25,000 from the Cash Store or my pet cash cow, would not be enough to buy my husband a restaurant called…Hampoland. But I could get him a flat screen,plasma, HD television  so gigantic we’d have to take the front door off the house to get the damn thin in the living room.

Then he could watch the ridiculously gory CSI shows and he’d feel as though the bloody guts were right up in his face, smeared all over his shirt…awesome, I guess. He’d love that. But I’m going to have to go to the library or take the boat out while he’s watching television, or maybe if the cow sticks around, I’ll take another cruise.

One Response to “The Hampoland Cash Cow…Mooo”

  1. October 7th, 2011 at 10:17 pm

    mary says:

    dang ma m, i take a few days off reading and i find these gems! what a fantasti present. thanks!