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The F-Bomb Needs A Make-Over

Which of these phrases would get your attention?

“You F*&%$*@* Wuss!” or
“You Chicken Baby Cheese Cake!”

One is an average insult the other is brilliant, silly  and ridicilous. The first line you can hear over and over, in any high school, mall or factory, so it’s lost most of  that legendary power and mojo.

However, if you call somebody a “chicken baby cheese cake” they will pay attention to you, yes they will wonder what planet you came from but sometimes that’s ok.

Cursing needs a style make over, a face lift that makes it cool or tough or at least meaningful and shocking again. Everyday kids hear so much cursing it’s become lukewarm at best. Not long ago throwing the “f -bomb” was shocking and a profound insult now it’s like ordering chicken noodle soup. It basically tells me you’re not very creative and you have limited verbal creativity.

The wow factor is gone, unless you’re an old person, like Betty White, then it’s still really funny.

If I say, “she’s an ugly b$%^#” you get the point. If I say “she’s as ugly and graceless as a toad” you really get an understanding of the ugly woman’s face.

So, guys, it’s time to give up on the hackneyed phrases and curse words. Step up your anger and insult game and try something new. Call the sales guy “smarmy”, call the mean waitress a “witless hag”, call the stupid bull a “vapid pawn”. 

Yeah, you might get a monstrous ass whupping by the “hulking waste of flesh” bully, but you’ll sound wonderfully droll as you make these urbane and disparaging remarks.

See, that’s so much better than “shut the f*%$ up”.

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2 Responses to “The F-Bomb Needs A Make-Over”

  1. July 8th, 2011 at 3:23 am

    Patrick says:

    How about just being nice? It has always worked for me.

  2. July 13th, 2011 at 2:53 am

    cara says:

    I’m with Patrick. I’m nice. So I don’t say ugly things about people…outloud any way.