HampoLand

rainbow

Diana’s Hospital Adventure

If you are a blogger or stand up comedian and you don’t have any material, it’s time for you to visit the hospital.

Last week I had to spend eight hours in one of the finest hospitals… in Arkansas.  I feel much better today so they did a pretty good job fixing me up still, several things stood out about the adventure.

First, when I did the paperwork the clerk was ridicilously impressed that I had insurance. Seriously, she said “Wow, people under 65 never have insurance, that’s great.”

I’m thinking I need to call the republicans and let them know about his conversation.

Once I was in my room with my “nurse call button” and television remote control it was time for the IV. The nurse asked if “Ivan, the chubby nursing student” could try his luck. I squinted and squirmed.
“Well”, she said “he has to practice sometime.”

Ivan smiled and explained he’d worked in the sawmill for twenty years before they closed and he had to change careers. Now 45 year old Ivan wants to be a nurse. “Ivan the nursing student seemed like a decent guy but he missed my freaking vein twice and I fired him. He kept apologizing so I asked him to get me a cup of ice just so he’d leave the room.

After successfully poking the IV into a fresh vein, the real  nurse gave me my cholesterol report, my arteries were in great shape! And then it was lunch time.

When they rolled my tray in I almost choked. I swear to you, the hospital served me a heaping pile of fried chicken, french fries, a bathtub full of gravy, cheese cake and a soda pop. No fruit, no veggies, no juice, just a massive pile of fried stuff. I started texting my children immediately because I won’t  serve fried food at home. I could hear them chanting from across the country, “Eat it, eat it.”

Why not, I was in the hospital, they could ream out my artieries after lunch.

So bloggers, if you are running short of material, take a field trip to the hospital. Talk to Ivan the chubby nursing student, eat some gravy and you’ll feel better in the morning.

Comments are closed.