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Should I Leave My Husband Over The Tacky Holiday Lights?

Christmas Lights and Decorations…Now here’s a touchy subject. My parents were married for 30 years but their first fight came just four months after the wedding. They fought over Christmas tree tinsel. My mom believed in carefully placing each strand, my dad was a “stand back and sling it” kind of guy. The fight became so intense my Dad walked out and didn’t come home for two days. I believe the was Bourbon involved.

My husband and I also have some serious Christmas decoration issues. I blame it on the fact he’s Hungarian. You know how those people are with their giant mustaches and unlimited surplus of paprika.

When Alex started unpacking the outdoor Christmas lights I said two words . “Taunt please”. I hate droopy lights.

When the sun set and he plugged everything in I gasped. The house looked like a rainbow elf threw up. There were brilliant, multi-colored clumps and sags, knots and masses covering the front of the house. every stand sagged like a hammock. It’s a holiday nightmare but if I complain I’m a bitch, right? What kind of woman gripes at her husband for spending four hours putting up Christmas lights?

Then it was time to put up the tree. It was a beautiful fresh Frasier fur, perfectly shaped. And Alex proceeded to wrap the lights  so tight I swear, it looked as though he’d taking the Christmas tree hostage. I start looking for a ransom note cause that tree will never ever escape. And when he plugged those lights in I swear I almost had a seizure. Alex believes in flashing lights, lots and lots of fast flashing lights. My right arm jerked and my eye twitched. The dog sighed and the children laughed.

It’s Christmas time and I have to close my eyes in the morning when I walk past the tree with my coffee or I fling it across the room.

So, here’s some more marriage advice. Discuss Christmas decorations before you say “I do”. It can be a holiday deal breaker.

“Örökké szeretni foglak, Sandor”  that’s “I’ll love you forever, Alex” in Hungarian.

One Response to “Should I Leave My Husband Over The Tacky Holiday Lights?”

  1. December 7th, 2010 at 6:18 pm

    KC Annette says:

    This is the second Christmas for Mr.B and I…and thankfully I already had the tree and semi-organized tubs of ornaments and lights…Mr.B says he likes the colorful lights on the tree cause he’s ‘old school’…I prefer white only on my tree, simple and timeless.. The colored lights remind me of that confetti cake that comes in a box and is just white cake with colorful sprinkles mixed in, I don’t want to think ‘Cupcakes!’ when I look at my tree. For the trees sake I’m so glad that I packed the boxes of white lights in the tops of the tub, lol. This year we spoke of outside lights but doubt we’ll get to them due to lack of time, for that as long as he stays on the house- mainly the front porch, I’m okay with it…I just don’t want a graveyard of inflatables or him thinking EVERYTHING has to be covered in flashing lights. National Lampoons Christmas comes to mind…
    I guess just be thankful for his efforts..?…and think, he’s surely making Christmas memories for the kiddos…and if all else fails, next year try making it a family project, when your hands are in it you have a little bit more ‘quality control’. 😉
    And above all else, Happy Holidays…